The Bicycle Thief.
No.... I have not watched this supposedly award winning movie. Its really about a bicycle thief. Brother india's cycle went missing 2 days back. It was in the portico at 5.30, and at 6 it disappeared...And as always, I was the one who was blamed for it......!!!! It seems I did not take enough care and keep the cycle inside the house, and so because of me, some1 took the bicycle...!!!
So after all the finger pointing and shouting, yours truly sherlock holmes started deep thinking as to who can steal a cycle at 5.30 in the evening. After some deep thinking (without pipe in my mouth though) i suspected our local dhobhi....!!!
The next day we ask him has he seen our cycle and he says no. After constant bickering by brother india, mother india goes to your friendly neighborhood detective, who incidentally is an auto driver by day and sherlock holmes by night. The only reason he makes such a good detective by night is that he blends so very nicely into the night thanks to his wonderful complexion...!!! After 2 days he comes home telling that the dhobi is the one and he has the cycle. And finally we get back the bicycle in the same condition it was before. And your friendly neighborhood detective charges 250rs as his Fee........!!!!
And now we don't have a dhobi, all my clothes are un-ironed, and no other dhobi is willing to come and take the clothes out fear that even he might be blamed if anything else goes missing.....!!!

The stupidity and lameness of shopping with the female species above 35.
Life is not fair for people like me.Really,it ain't fair...!! 4 specimens from the female species above 35 promise to take me to eat out and end up taking me to westside so that they can buy over sized kurtas which fit them.I realize i am taken there only to act as a watchman cause its relatively late in the night.I am just supposed to stand there and try not to stare at the lingerie section nor at other prospective female "customers".
30 minutes into the shopping and i am still trying not to stare at anything, and out of the blue a girl from school sees me seeing something very in-appropriate and comes over to talk to me. We catch up on some old shit and she asks me with whom have i come. I try to think of something convincing and mother india walks up to her and starts talking. She again asks me with whom have i come and finally tell her. She laughs a laugh which means a lot of things. I tell her to continue her shopping and sit quietly near the billing section.
30 more minutes and the girl from school comes to the billing section, pays the bill, sees me seeing something very in-appropriate, smiles a smile which means a lot of things and goes out.
30 more minutes and the specimens from the female species above 35 finally, finally finish buying clothes which fit them and walk out.
I come home, eat curd rice and sleep. *SIGH*
And i still cant comprehend what the girl from school's laugh or smile meant.*SIGH*
P.S. The girl from school had come to shop alone in westside...can any1 tell me why any girl goes shopping alone....???

What a welding rod does to u at 12 in the night...
A collegiate fest in a very mediocre "institute". 4 people who we will call fat, fatter, dark and darkest. Dark and darkest want to participate in an event called "junkyard wars"-where in u get some scrap and construct something out of it.(4yrs of mechanized mechanical engineering and we thought we must have learn't something..!! ). Darkest spends his precious talk time and calls up fat and fatter and somehow all the 4 pool in 200rs as the entry fee and write the preliminary round. By some great miracle and some luck, the 4 ppl get selected along with 5 other teams and are given a task of designing a trebuchet. (dark did not what it meant until he saw some pics).Fat and darkest were sent to the junkyard to find some junk. Dark went home to have a cup of coffee and sleep and fatter went god-knows-where.

Every thing is set, its 8pm and fat,fatter,dark,darkest finally start out to build the trebuchet. The only problem being, dark has no clue how to start, fat is bothered abt the food, fatter and darkest argue whose design is the best.Finally they decide upon a design and they start to cut,weld,drill and mend the scarp.

About 3hrs into the "build", nothing is done except having dinner and testing out the welding machine and there enters Mr.NAMA (for ppl who donno what a nama is, its a sort of a horizontal thilak) Mr.NAMA very closely resembles borat in his pubescence . Mr.NAMA has design which dark can't comprehend and neither can darkest. Due to chance/fate/luck or some unfathomable reason, Mr.NAMA gets his hands on a welding machine.....And it began....the greatest "fuse"ing of metals mankind has ever seen..the greatest spectacle in the "institute"...Mr.NAMA and his "FUSEINGS".

10pm-Lo sishya, a swingarm thogond baaro, weld maadona... (hey dude get that swing arm, we will weld it..)

11pm-lo sishya, ee weld alli yeno problem ide..ond lap joint haaki, aa kade ond butt joint haakbidona... aamele ond tee joint haakbittre....ammele corner joint haakoke easy aagbidutthe..!! (hey dude...there is a problem in this joint..we will put 1 lap joint adn 1 butt joint, later 1 tee joint and corner joint will be easy)

12am- lo sishya, there is some problem with this welding rod, go and get a 12 gauge rod da.
(i swear i can't comprehend y all Naama's have a fad of switching over to english suddenly)

1am-lo sishya, nodamma....ee swing arm na hing turn maadona.....aamele payload na alli attach maadona..after that, i will weld the bed, aaamele aa pivot na haakbittu bittre...ball hoogbidutthe...(i cant translate this, believe me..!!)

1.30am- Fat,fatter,dark and darkest are almost done and are waiting for the welding machine to be free so that they can finish up and go home.They ask Mr.Nama to allow them to use the machine, "waa....naan yen illi tamashi maadthiddna...naan inna weld maadbeeeku," (waa am i playing here, i still have to weld here)

2am-fat,fatter,dark and darkest somehow complete the task.....plan to go home and then...Mr.nama "lo sishya, 200rs entry fee kottidakku....300rs welding kalthe ma naanu"
(dude...even if we payed 200rs as the entry fee, we have learned 300rs worth welding"

the next day morning 10am when the trebuchet's are being testing.
The judge who is 4 feet tall is asking questions to Mr.NAMA
"tel me ur design i sayyyyyyy......what did u do i sayyyyyyy.....what was the problem given to u i sayyyyyy.....tell fast i sayyyyyy"
"sir, we actually brought MS steel and GI steel as we did not find CI iron. The problem was we did not find the proper material so we calcualted a factor of safety of 2, we calculated that the payload has to 5 kgs for the projectile to go 60 feet, so we calculated the length of the swing arm needed and the fatigue strength required and the wear involved. Due to this we could get a air of around 45 feet and the spring constant K was directly proportional to the constant and the wear resistance..........
Listening to this fat, fatter, dark and darkest went home to recheck their previous marks cards to make sure they had officially passed.
Mr.Nama's team were asked to test their designs. The ball was thrown only so far as the length of Mr.Nama's nama. Fat,fatter dark and darkest were asked to test their design.The ball went flying more than 60 feet, and fat,fatter, dark and darkest were eventually declared winners.

And Mr.Nama is still trying to figure out the difference between a tee joint and his Nama...

Chaddi, banian and a broken arm.......
I don't even remember the last some1 helped me put my chaddi and banian. It must have been some 12 years ago when i was a kid (physically), not bothered about the brands of chaddi and banian i wore and not bothered who helped me into them.
But at 21, helping a 12 year old kid getting into chaddi banian is.....well...not a task to look forward to on saturday morning..!! Brother india has broken his arm.... every1 in the district is all "ayoo papa ayoo papa" towards him. Ok, breaking ur arm in the summer holls is not quite exciting...but hey...that doesn't mean every1 shoud go "ayoo papa" ALL the time...!!! Whats the big deal in wearing your own chaddi banian....its not fair...!!!! at an age when i fantasize about undressing other people....here i am, on a saturday morning, chaddi banaining a 12 year old.....!! its not fair...its not fair...its not fair....!!!

How exciting.........!!!
2.30 on a hot afternoon....three 21 year olds are pushed, coaxed and begged to be judges for a debate competition. Most of the "debaters" are a year or 2 younger, one guy is older, arrogant, assholic and taller than the 3 of us. One guy very aptly talks before the debate starts stating that all the 3 are as dumb as the contestants and have been made judges as the organizers did not find any one suitable enough. On girl in pink hands out a rose in a tray to me and one more guy (how romaaaantic no....handing out a pink rose on a tray) and says "I am from the hospitality committee,welcome ". We say " no no " but realizing later that this may be the only time ever a girl gives people like us a pink rose (on a tray or not),we accept it and keep it in our shirt pockets.(to show off to the rest of the "institute").
The debate starts, (I am still smelling the rose to make sure it is real) The first topic is "veg versus non veg"(c.....i told u it was exciting.) and then....they continued..."sania mirza is all hype" "fat people are rude" "indians are rude" "sachin deserves the bharat rathna" "cricketers are paid more" (i am still smelling the rose)....one girl speaks some sense on a topic i forgot. one guy speaks sense on a topic i again forgot....finally there is a tie between the girl and the guy. I wanted the girl to win as it was international womens day that day, my friends voted for the guy as he was good looking (and mostly gay).
Finally the guy won. (claps claps) and I got a treat from him saying that it was i who made him win. See how exciting my life is..!?!??
P.S. I did not find any1 to whom i could give that rose to. So i gave it to a 1 year old girl child and she gave it back to me....how exciting no..my first rose giving and my rose getting..!!??

In(the)difference.....
I did not care if he ever passed his exams. I did not care whether he came to the class. He was just one of those guys who u always miss to notice in a crowd. His opinions hardly mattered to me. Had been with him for more than 3 years and had hardly noticed him. The occasional hand shake, the infrequent drops to the nearest main road on my motorbike, scolding the pakis for defeating us in cricket. Our conversation was limited to such banal stuff which one does not remember nor needs to forget.
It took one game of amateurish football
One frugal goal scored by 2 amateur "footballers"....... one goal scored of 2 pairs of tired and bruised legs......one goal scored by a fluke pass....one goal scored by 2 people who hardly ever thought of each other's existence....
The celebrations....the hi-fi's.....the bear hugs......the smiles...... the congratulatory handshakes..... talking about that one goal which every1 forgot days after it was scored......
We still talk about banal stuff....we still scold paki's if they defeat us.... we still have those occasional handshakes....those infrequent drops i give him on my motorbike... i still don't remember the conversations i have with him.....but there are somethings i don't forget.... i see a twinkle in those eyes when he laughs now......and.....the handshake seems to last a tad bit longer.....

P.S. thanks to sushruth for the title.....(this was the smallest font size i got.....!! :P :P )

PRO-JEKT (for some reason i like 'K' more than 'C' )-3
Ok....for the first timer.....here are the prequels. This and This.
It had to happen. It had to.... We finally started the porjekt. Nothing surprising about it as every1 supposedly has. The only problem for us being....there is suddenly a new clause in the projekt.....we have to fabricate a new solar cooker. For a group of 4 highly enlightened, energetic, eccentric, enraged and endangered individuals who can only fabricate lies and half truths.....fabricating a solar cooker is proving to be quite a task. And to add all this.....the sun god isn't helping as well. Whenever it's sunny....we are gloomy...when ever we are sunny.....he is gloomy...... and oh...did i mention there already exists a cooker which we have to work on...!?? We have supposedly cooked rice, dal and potatoes in that cooker.(apparently everything was fed to the cows in front of the "institute").
For the curious, we are planning to build a PARABOLIC type cooker....(as a tribute to the projekt c0- guides stomach ...) We supposedly had an INTERACTION with german delegates on non-conventional energy.....(which lasted exactly 10 mins, and was quite without any energy and non-conventional....).and i am writing this on a day when we are supposed to be working on the projekt.........

The Thinker.
Still obsessed with pink floyd, gurucharan das and online quizzing.... He is the only guy who wants to finish off the projekt within the given time. He fails to see the sunny side of life and is suddenly obsessed with cooking up some completely un-answerable-questions-unless-googled on his quizzing website and I-want-to-conduct-a-quiz-in-college. His SHINE ON is the only thing which keeps the projekt going. Otherwise the projekt is D-E-A-D.

The Talker.
This guy is supposedly dieting and has no intention on thinking about the projekt because whenever he thinks of a cooker, it seems he has the urge to eat. In the course of his diet he has supposedly lost 4 kgs in 4 days and has lost an inch...(donno which part of his anatomy is he talking though). He has lost complete track of time and is some what dazed around men of his age. And yeah........he can never make it on time to work on the PROJEKT....he is DIETING u c...

The Smoker.
His ignited mind has been doused.......for reasons unknown to man. He cant walk a mere 200meters because he has pain in his leg, but can play football. He seems to be going through a phase of COLD TURKEY as he says he is cutting down on the cigarettes. Cold turkey or not.....he is now the chicken in the team, acts cocky, and has no intention of completing the projekt on time. Some1 should cut his feathers...some1 really should.


The FUC***
He still is like the most un-interested,un-involved person in the group. He still gives ideas and advice to other people on their projekts. He still hasn't got a job and is hopelessly jobless.He is again broke and has exactly 110rs in his purse this time. He is being forced, blackmailed and pushed into getting a hair cut and a shave. Still has no idea as to what he is gonna do after 4 months.....and has suddenly realised that the PROJEKT is as FUC*** up as he is....
And he still thinks why he doesn't get more than 10 comments on his blog...

P.S. can somebody give ideas so that the projekt can be completed on time..??
P.s.2 i donno whats wrong with the damn fonts....!!! swalpa adjust maadi..!!

Movie with the girls.
I was always a sucker for indian movie plots and bollywood 1 liners.always was. Those music videos where a boy and girl meet accidentally in a movie theater, those corner seats joke, those touching-touching of hands while popcorn-eating-from-the-same-packet stuff, i was a sucker for those...i really was, until i went to this only first part second time watchable movie with the girls.
As for the girls, they ranged from 31 to 4...with two 18year olds(who got us the tickets) in between. It being the matnee show and half of bengalooru jobless,(i went to a movie with the girls in bengalooru btw) most kannada anorexic girls and kannada sallu bhai boys were there.I made the most of this and grabbed the seat next to a anorexic girl in pink telling the other girls that it was too hot to sit at the other end.(after all, i turned 21 and am officially ready u c). And i was naive enough not to realise that the girls,(including the 4 year old girl) could read my intentions.FINE...i had nothing to hide...even my hormones have to flow somewhere....!!!
The movie starts. After sometime i realise that the 31yr old girl has placed her 4 yr old girl next to me...fine...i have no problem with that..i like that girl a lot....and i have watched the movie already once....fine.
now to the anorexic girl in pink next to me.Before that i have a question...Y DO ALL THEATERS IN BENGALOORU HAVE EXTRA LARGE SIZED SEATS....!??? i mean the seats are so big that the anorexic girl in pink could squat herself nicely and she did not feel the need to place her hands on the support....!!!!!
Ok fine,i get on with the movie...and then comes the interval...I think this is my moment...the anorexic girl has to go past me to go out somewhere....and then...the 4yr old girls says "nikhil anna...nanage hasive...kurkure thankodu..(nikhil,i am hungry..get me kurkure). Me being the model brother for every other person on earth excluding my own brother, i obediently get up and get her the packet of kurkure. And as soon as i come back, the movie begins. *sigh*
Being the decent boy i am, i sit quietly and continue to watch the movie.After 20mins the theater goes completely blank....i mean completely blank..including the screen.... I MEAN.... ASK FOR A BETTER CHANCE THAN THIS.....!! then all of a sudden the 4yr old girl comes into my arms saying..nikhil anna...hedarke aagthide..(nikhil,i am scared)... and....i watched the rest of the movie sitting 5 inches away from the anorexic girl in pink...!!

*i walk out of the theater and see the anorexic girl in pink and one sallu bhai boy drinking 1 tender coconut with 2 straws in it....talk about movies.....sigh..!!!*

One fine morning......
father- thindi saapidrya ..?? (will u have breakfast..? )
Me- Venda venda...kulchutu saapdre (no no, will have it after bath)
father- appo yella pannikudkurku aardille...yenaku office ku late aachi. (i cant wait till then, i am late for the office...)
Me-sari sari..naane pankure aapru.. (ok ok, i will only do it later)
father- varda dose pankuruku..?? (u know how to make dose..? )
Me-oh vardu ...yenna annidirke yennane..!?? (oh..i know!! what do u think i am..!?)
father-yenmaana panko po, naa vare.. (do what u want, me leaving)
Me-sari, tata..

After an hour, i call up mother who is not in town and has the not-in-town accent to her voice on the phone.
Me-hello amma, dose henge maadkollodu..?? (hello amma, how do i make dose..?? )
mother- (in her out-of-town accent) ashtu gothillva, thava kaayakke idu, ond 5 nimisha kaayi, aamele dose haaku. (donno that much also, keep the thava on the flame, wait for 5mins, and make the dose..)
Me-sari, haaki aadamele, yesht hottu bidabeeku?? (how long shud i wait after that.?? )
mother-ayioooooooo, noodko, dose yeddre aagide antha, golden brown colour irabeeku. (ayiiooooo, see if the dose gets up, it should be golden brown)
Me-ond dose ge yesht hittu haakabeeku..?? (how much dough shud i use for 1 dose..?? )
mother-neene nodkond haakappa.. (u only c and put man..!!)
Me-oh...ok ok...chutney illva..?? (ok ok, no chutney..?)
mother-(in her out-of-town accent) adella nanage gothilla, yeno maadkond thinnu...dose aaglilla andre noodles maadko...!! (i donno abt al that, if not dose, make noodles and eat..)
Me-noodles a..?? bellag belaage heng thinlli...?? chutney ilva..!!?? (noodles a..?? how do i eat it morning morning...?? no cutney..?? )
mother-(in her out-of-town accent, but a lil louder)-yesht sarthi helodu, chtney illa, yeenara adjust maadkond thinnu, bye.(how many times to tell no chutney, adjust and eat something..)
Me-thumba thanks, bye

and.....after 21 years of existence, i try to make my own breakfast, and try to digest it.
stage 1- keep the tava on the flame and wait for 5 mins. That is easy.

stage 2. pour the dough and wait for it to turn golden brown-ok..how brown is golden or how golden brown..?? Think of calling up mother again, but, the colour of the dose gets the better of me....... i put the dough on the tava, and make a sort of a circle.(After that i understood why i was thought free hand drawing in school).

stage3- insert the dose removal thing under the dose and wait for it to get up-ok, this was quite easy....but the problem is, the dose seems to get up only in a few places..*damn*

stage4-turn up the dose and put it on the tava once again-and i burn my fingers doing that.

stage5-put it on a plate, eat it with either chutney or adjust with whatever u have-and i had to adjust with whatevre-i-have (whatever that is..)

stage6-try, try and u will succeed.

The first one- (this proves y i almost flunked in machine drawing) the 2nd one-i tried, i really did
























see, see...i told u i was trying...i almost got a perfect circle..!!!! see.... see..!??
finally, i had to adjust with whatever-i-have...... :( :( :(

PS-i could only digest 2 of my own dose's..(one of them was too thick for my liking..)
PS2-never eat a dose without chutney....!!!

It was a crowded place, people were in a hurry, they were there to curb that one craving no one could control-hunger. He was waiting for his turn to get his rice plate and gobble it up as fast as he could. He hated eating that same rice everyday for the past 6 months. He hated everything about that place. He hated himself for going to the same place everyday and eating the same rice for the same 10 rupees he could afford. He was tired, he was confused, he was hungry.
It took him 5 minutes to get his rice plate and find a clean place to sit. He grunted in disgust. He knew he deserved more, he knew he was capable of more. He was waiting, he was waiting for something to happen not knowing what it was. But he was waiting.
And then she came, with her hair let loose, arm in arm with her male companion, her chin tilted, a smile that was suggestive of many things. She sat in the table in front of him while her male companion went to get the food.
He looked up, and their eyes met. He did not think much of her, he was more involved in trying to digest his food. Something in her eyes made him want to look at her again. She was still staring at him. He stopped eating for a minute. Neither of them blinked. He was confused, was curious, was hungry, was nervous. He kept staring at her, and she at him. It was as if she wanted to tell him something but he could not understand her language. Another minute passed before her male companion bought her her rice plate.
The next morsel he took was his most delicious ever....

My city, My town
21 years, a million moments, a few dreams, 1 man, 1 place-My city, My town-Mysore.

My city
*Where weekends consisted of sitting on the palace lawn, eating roasted groundnuts and waiting for the lights to go on exactly at 6.30
*Where you haggled with the local "villedele" (beetle leaf) lady on deveraja market so that u get a few more beetle leaves for the 1 rupee u paid.
*Where you accompanied your grand mother to deveraja market when she went shopping for raw mangoes, ginger and lemons to prepare the yearly "uppinakay" (pickle) only because she would get u your favorite "jeerige peppermint" (cumin seeds coated with sugar)
*Where diwali consisted of waiting for your father's friend to get loads of crackers for a few hundred rupees because he had put a 'chit' for crackers in his factory.Where you waited for your father's boss to give you bengali sweets from bombay tiffanies.
*Where you waited eagerly on the 5th of every month for the boy from the "nair" angadi(store) to get the monthly groceries to see if your mother has ordered that costly packet of "bour-bon" biscuit.
*Where you came back hungry from school and begged your mother to give you 6 rupees to buy a potato bun and a honey cake from that iyengaari bakery.
*Where every april or may you went to mannar's market to buy note books for school at wholesale prices and text books at landsdown building or aparna book house.
*Where summer holidays consisted of playing cricket from 10 in the morning to 7 in the evening.
*Where DASARA holidays consisted of going to flower show, the exhibition, and playing cricket from 10 in the morning to 7 in the evening.
*Where a trip to the chamundi hills was never complete without a masala dose, a single idly, 1 jamoon, 1 kesari bath and 1 cup of filter coffee.
*Where monthly copies of tinkle, archies or a copy of amar chitra katha was bought at geeta book house (if u could afford it) or waited for it to arrive at your local librarian.
*Where boys like me hated their mothers for forcing us to go yell beerufying at sankranthi because there was no girl in the house.
*Where jayciyana was a religion and you dreamed all your life to get into SJCE.
*Where your hero ranger was your most priced possession after that tennis ball and that light weight bat.
*Where having a computer a VCR and a colour tv with a cable connection at home made you the richest man in the street.
*Where cycling to chamundi hills during sundays was your biggest achievement.
*Where javagal srinath was a hero.
*Where hitting the road meant you went out somewhere.
*And where if someone asked you "which school are you studying in?" u said "St.Joeseph's............Central not state".

My town.
*Where weekends consist of waiting from 6.30 on the lawns on planet x eating defrosted french fries and waiting for your turn at the bowling alley.
*Where 'Reliance fresh' gives you beetle leaf 2 paise lesser that the villedele lady.
*Where you accompany your grand mother to a shop in deveraja market to get her monthly dose of medicines.
*Where diwali consists of exchanging bengali sweets from bombay tiffanies and not bursting crackers because you are suddenly "environment conscious"
*Where you buy wafers and biscuits over the counter at FAB-CITY.
*Where you come back from school and make MAGGI noodles.
*Where every april or may you go to ALPHA BOOK STORES to buy the prescribed note books and text books.
*Where summer holidays consist of playing play-station from 10 in the morning to 7 in the evening.
*Where DASARA holidays consist of going off to banglore.
*Where a trip to the chamundi hills is still never complete without a masala dose, a single idly, 1 jamoon, 1 kesari bath and 1 cup of filter coffee.
*Where you go to the local CD shop to get the monthly copy of Need for speed or NBA 2008 or GTA.
*Where boys like me still hat their mothers for forcing us to go yell beerufying at sankranthi because there is no girl in the house.
*Where jayciyana is still a religion but you get into a shit hole of a college which has uniforms and dress codes and where a FEST(pest) gets over at 7.30pm.
*Where the other guy's cycle has 3 more gears than your cycle.
*Where you are considered a retard if u dont have a mobile and a computer.
*Where only poor people cycle to chamundi hills. People like "us" go with our parents.
*Where javagal srinath is still a hero.
*Where hitting the road means you are going to that latest disco tech.
*And where if someone asks you "which school are you studying in?" u STILL say, "St.Joeseph's............Central not state".

DRIP DRIP.....

Thanks to NAMMA VTU..... i should write the HEAT AND MASS TRANSFER exam once again on god-knows-when day.....
Thanks to some very ENTER-PRICING (the damn paper was priced very high btw...) students of the university, the paper was leaked and the fools did it so openly that the university came to know about it...!!! Talk about MASS transfer....!! thanks to those fools, masses like me have to wait till god-knows-when to finish their exams when every other engineering student in all other different branches can party on. And to top it all, I...I did not get the paper...!!! (its a different story that i would have flunked anyways...that paper was supposedly very tough...but still.... people think i have contacts....!! :P) And to top it all, every other paper of every other branch was leaked (drip drip) and only our exam was canceled......!!!

P.S. cartoon mine only....what u ppls thought...huh..!??
P.S.2. dayavittu pray that the exam on god-knows-when day be easy and i pass...!!!!

Things that should never happen to u during the last week of december......
1.Write back to-back to -back exams, that too one in the morning and the other one in the afternoon...

2. Sit at home and blog abt nonsensical things when ur family in partying in goa.

3. Just stare at the bottles of old monk, 6 flavours of smirnoff, the coconut Fenny , 2 bottles VAT 69 and the goan wine that ur father brings back from goa and not show any signs of interest on ur face...

4. Try to be happy after getting ONE MORE, ONE MORE..!! SOOOOO come-ya go-ya ish goa t-shirt with all those dolphins and coconut tress that fade away after the first wash.

5. Get constipated after eating half a KG of goan cashew...

6. And finally try to digest HYDRAULICS AND PNEUMATICS on the new years eve when the rest of the world is drowning in all kinds of fluids........
chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy...............!!!!

To B or not to B B-schooled...??
Yesterday night i get this forward....
ECONOMICS TEACHER-"give me an example of a complete business failure due to negligence.."
Santa-A PREGNANT PROSTITUTE...

U c....as most final year engineering students are BIG B-school aspirants..... me also being officially in the final year...thought of aspiring to get into a B-school.So, i thought about the joke in a very B-SCHOOL ASPIRANTISH way.(its a different story altogether that i did not take up the CAT...and ironically my mother teaches MBA aspirants....ad bere vishya bidi..)
Now say, the teacher asks santa for an explanation.....In the typical B-school way(not the blazer wearing, laptop carrying, come YA go YA way).As i cant put up a power point presentation on a blog u c, so...

*What is the CORE COMPETENCY of this Business...??
Utility-Utility theory explains consumer tastes and preferences. Consumers purchase those things that give them satisfaction or utility. As a consumer consumes more of any one product, other goods and services look more desirable. As one consumes more of a product, smaller and smaller increments of pleasure or satisfaction come from it. The law of diminishing marginal utility underlies the law of demand.

*How do u define this BUSINESS..??
This business is a Joint float-An arrangement by which a group of currencies(people) maintain a fixed relationship relative to each other, but move jointly relative to another currency(people) in response to supply and demand conditions in the market.

*What are the Worst Case Scenarios present..??
dirty float-A type of floating exchange rate that is not completely freely floating because central banks(read pimps and madams) intervene from time to time to alter the rate from its free-market level. It is still a floating rate because it has not been pegged at a predetermined par value.

*What is the Driving force in this business..??
To monetize-To convert assets into money

*What is the greatest threat and what may be its outcome..???
Multilateralism-An international policy intended to free international trade from the restrictions of bilateralism. Multilateralism represents an effort to permit nations(people) to specialize in production and exchange in accordance with the principle of comparative advantage.
*Multulateralism leads to-
*moral hazard-The risk that a party to a transaction has not entered into a contract in good faith, has provided misleading information about its(her) assets, liabilities, or capacity, or has an incentive to take unusual risks in a desperate attempt to earn a profit before the contract settles.

What are the outcomes of the business failure...??
A pregnant prostitute goes thru INFLATION-both physically and physiologicaly.So, as in all businesses, she has her CYCLE of inflation and deflation
frictional unemployment-Short-term joblessness associated with mobility.(Literally...!!)

*What can be done to find out the DEFAULTER...??
Check credit history (A record of how a person has borrowed and repaid debt.)

*What happens to the business..??
Recession-A significant decline in general economic activity extending over a period of time.

*How do u overcome these failures and what are the options during the failure period..??
Learn from mistakes.Always sing relevant songs(yeh kya huan....kab hua..kyun hua..?? remember the ad..?)
Options during failure period- BLOW away your problems and TURN AROUND your failures into success...!!

P.S. dear "readers", please tell will i be a good b-schooler...??
P.S.2 to whom so ever it may concern...thumbaaaa thanks for the message...i know u will read this post someday and go pink and will never ever send me anymore forwards...!!
P.S.3 For the curious, all the above mentioned terms are got from here. Please do not think that i knew all these terms before...!!

Y VIVA...!??
It was the last lab exam of my engineered engineering(hopefully... i think i will get thru). Had mugged up the formulas, the tabular coloumns and all the other shit. Exam was at 10 in the morning....i go to college at 9, people are furiously revising, re-revising, re-re-revising. I go to a relatively so called "AVERAGE" guy and ask him "oodidya?" (have u studied?). He says "ok ok, parvaagilla ".I ask him for his record book as i hardly have written anything in mine. I glance thru it, and suddenly I find 4 formulas which i never knew existed. Somehow i manage to mug those formulas as well. Its time.. I pray that i somehow get a very easy experiment and i pass.
The exam starts at 10.30, I get 2 decent experiments. I try and complete them. Its finally time for my VIVA (a sort of a ORAL test sort of a shit). I go and sit in front of the external examiner with my most innocent and childish posture.And, it starts off....my most humiliating VIVA ever..

Extern-yenappa nin hesaru? (whats ur name?)
me-nikhil sir
Extern-hometown?
Me-Mysooru only sir..
Extern-hmm....appa yen kelsa madthare? (where does ur father work?)
me- HR in some factory sir..
Extern- Nodidya avara factory? (have u seen his factory?)
me- yes sir.

Extern-hmm....logarithmic decrement andre yenu..?? (what is logrithmic decrement?)
me-hmm...hmm....(smile).. donn..gothilla sir..
Extern- adara graph bari nodona... ( write its graph)
me- hmm....(draw 2 lines....stop..) sir logarithmic decrement means the logarithmic ratio of 2 successive amplitudes sir..
Extern- (nodding his head)gothalla....now write the graph..
me- donno sir...(again smile)
Extern-Vibrations passa..???
Me-(shaking shaking head) hun sir passss....

Extern-appa gaadi tekotidaraa..? (father got u a vehicle??)
me-yes sir
Extern-yaavdu? (which?)
me-Yamaha
Extern- (cynically smiling) dina adralli joooom antha barthya..?? (everyday coming fast on that)
me-yeno barthini sir. ( i somehow come sir)
Extern- mane yelli...yesht doora illinda? (where is ur house and how far is it from here??)
me- in vijaynagar sir, arnd 20-21 kms to and fro..
Extern- ashtdoordinda bandu yen maadthay college alli..? (coming from so far what u do in coll?)
me-(looking at my answer sheet) hmm...hmmmm.. (smile smile)
Extern-placement aaitha..
me-illa sir
Extern-hmmm..... ninna experiment alli a fringe formation ge yeen anthare....??
me-fringes are formed due to stresses acting because of the load sir.
Extern- I know that.... what are the formations called.
Me- Fringes sir.
Extern- oodidya...?? (studied??)
Me- illa sir.' (no sir)
Extern-yenu gothilavallao....fail maadla..?? (u donno anything...shall i fail u??)
me-(smile smile smile)

Extern-nimma appanige hela neenu yenu oodolla bari beedi sutthya anthya...?? (shall i tell ur father that u dont study and only loaf around?)
Me-(smile smile) beda sir. (no sir)
Extern-what are the different types of governors...??
Me- gothilla sir. (donno sir)
Extern-y are governors used.?
Me-for speed control sir.
Extern-how they control speed..??
Me-donno sir..
Extern-ninage yeenu gothilla.....thats y u still not placed...sari now hoogu...
Me-thanku sir...

*runs away before the internal examiner asks anything*
*the attender asks for my record....like a fool i give it to him....later i realize that MY record will be used as a reference for the juniors...god save them....*

CHALI CHALI THAALENU EE CHALIYA....AHA.....OHO...

Its almost the end of the year and its chali chali in namma mysooru.... Here are some pics I took.
Camera-Fathers Grey Market Sony Ericson k350-I mobile phone VGA camera
Locale- Namma mane garden.
Pics By- Yours truly of course...!!

Colour colour kempu colour ............. and .......................... 2 hibiscus



Nee mudida mallige hoovina maale......... and.......... Nee mudida mallige hoovina maale..2

Bed of JASMIIIIINE FLOWEEERS.........and...........NO NAME FLOWWWER BUNCH...




NO NAME SMALL SMALL FLOWWWERS.. .....and.......BUDDING 2 BUDS.....

ROOTS
You don't have to be American to appreciate this.....!!
This is one book which every1 should to read to realise what upbringing gives us, what our culture teaches us, and what we teach others. I got a original paper back edition for 80rs on the roadside...!! Any1 wants it I will be glad to lend it to him/her, provided, I get it back safely...!!

It had been more than a week....I had blatantly ignored her, had not even gone near her. She was standing there as always, gentle yet commanding, slim yet powerful. She was standing there.... I went near her, she was not disturbed by my presence, I rather felt that she was expecting me. I stood there looking at her for a minute, soaking in the feeling of being beside her..... then... I touched her.... I almost shivered.... it was too much for me.... 1 week was too long a time for any man....let alone me..... in the blink of an eye I was on top of her..... She was a little nervous in the beginning, a little unwilling to react... slowly she was coming to life.... I was coming to life as well.....this was it.... 1 week was too long......SHIT.... I had forgotten my protection...!!! I rushed back...put it on and was on top her of again... this time she was alive and kicking....we rode along comparatively slowly after the start... then we rode on faster...and faster.... I felt her shuddering under my legs.... I had reached the limit...I had to let go..... this was it..... this was it.....





I let go of the accelerator and slowly me and my bike decelerated.....
Thats the pleasure of riding a 2 stroke 4 speed RX135...An RX-er for LIFE.......
And WHAT WERE YOU SICKOS THINKING...!!!!???????? I may have turned 21 yesterday, but that does'nt mean I misuse my fundamental rights.....!!!!!

P.S. The pic is of some other bike......my bike also is the same colour and make....it only needs a paint job and a change of clutch plates....can some1 sponsor them to me...!??

P.S.2. For ppl who wished me on my birthday, thank u...!! for ppl who did not wish me...THUMBA THANKS....!!!!

P.S.3 I will be very happy to take any1 on a ride on my RX...(will be happier if it is a person of the opposite sex..!! :D )

It revealed more than what it hid.....
Just another ride after dropping off my mother to the bus stand. Its 12.45 and unusually hot for a december afternoon. Waiting for the signal to turn green, I see a woman clad in a burka and a hijab walk past me. Fortunately for me or unfortunately for her, the hijab and the burka failed to serve their purpose. The strands of hair fluttered in the dusty wind, her copper coloured hand straightened it out, she adjusted her burka a little, and walked past me,the sway of her hips revealed her feminity which no tube top or low strung jeans could have matched. The light changed from red to green, I was still standing where i was, a shrill horn made me accelerate, I was just in time to catch up with her, I was about to turn and catch a glimpse of her face, and then i realized, why spoil the romance...!???
Did I see her hips sway because i am me, or did she just walk that way...?? Did I see what she wanted me to see, or did I see what I wanted to see...??

I waited for the light to turn green........in another signal, on another day....

PRO-JEKT (for some reason i like 'K' more than 'C' )-2
Off late as I'm trying to be very bollywoodish, and in trying to keep the tradition alive, here is a sequel or a "part 2" as some might like to call it of my "overtly hyped post".
Little did I know the importance of a projekt and the seriousness of it is settling in now. And i'm still the dumbest of the dumbest in the group, the last one to know about the "new" projekt, and, hate the projekt co-guide because of his wonderfully shaped pot belly. And what are we supposes to do..?? A SOLAR COOKER........sounds exciting for a guy who knows only how to cook maggi.......


The Thinker.
Still obsessed with pink floyd, gurucharan das and led zeplin, this guy gets a brain wave after listening to "crazy diamond" and comes up with the idea of doing something using solar energy.... agreed his name means something very integral in the water cycle, but DUDE......the subject ain't even ur elective...!!!! Who gave u the idea of COOKING UP something using sunlight. No wonder ur favorite sign off thing is SHINE ON....
SHINE ON U CRAZY *&^#*$#*^*^@((*^#

The Talker.
3 more strands of hair on a almost bald man's head does things to him, it really does. The solar cooker is sooooooooooo very interesting to this guy thanks to his immense appetite and immenser interest in food. He still is the second brainiest guy in the group and thanks to him the canteen is in business still even in the holidays.

The Smoker.
The light at the end of his cigarette has ignited his mind (APJ.AK be blessed)......it literally has. He suddenly seems to know more about the projekt than any1 of us and the guy cleared one subject in revals which makes my count 1 less. And for the record, he has stopped selling spice sim cards as he is quite a rich man now........

The FUC***
He still is like the most un-interested,un-involved person in the group. He still gives ideas and advice to other people on their projekts. He still hasn't got a job and is hopelessly jobless.He is again broke and has exactly 90rs in his purse this time. He has a shave every day now for absolutely no reason. He is still the same FUC*** up guy even after he has got a projekt and is slightly interested in it. And he still still still doesn't get more than 10 comments by different people in his blog...!!!

P.S. These are the ramblings of a demented mind and the protagoinsits/readers are told not to view the comments made by this demented mind seriously.....after all the mind is still a 6yr olds....!!