Monday, November 29, 2010

The cynic never dies...

I thought crossing 3 oceans, living alone, learning how to cook, braving the rain, the cold and the bloody snow, going through the study drill once again will make a "man" for the better. A "man" for tomorrow's world. But alas! The cold makes me more colder, the boredom laughs at me and the silence just stares at me. It does not ask me any question, it just stares. The creaks of the springs of the bed, the grumbling in my stomach, the wind hitting the chimney, all tease me. I think they tease me for an answer. But I let it pass. After all, its me who they tease!!
I still laugh at people who storm facebook with "my first snow" or "washing clothes at 2:45 in the morning" or "i loved shopping with you so and so". I don't judge them yet. But I laugh.
I am the guy who still sings old and sad songs in antakshari.
Among strangers, I still look out for the odd guy or girl who I think might be doing a Phd and talk.
I am still at awe at the odd guy/girl who can talk about Groucho, kailasam, Buster keaton, Fedrico Fellicini and Brain lara in the same 5 minute conversation.
I am still the guy who stands in the corner of the bar trying to gaze at everything.
I am still the guy whose gaze moves from the ankle and then to the bust.
I am still the guy who shrugs.....who smiles.....and has a silent laugh....
Perhaps somewhere deep inside I do not want the Cynic to die, perhaps that's the reason I don't try too much to bury him!!
Not many people will understand the gibberish above...but the 3 or 4 people who will understand this will also smile...laugh...and nod their heads at the screen and think of this fool for a few seconds and go "this ass will never change will he..!??"