My best one yet.....
This one flashed to me while i was having dosa alone and looking around...

"A duppata is the creation of god to increase the ego of a woman...and the curiosity of a man....."

- Silk smitha and disco shanti...

The ride...

The wind in my hair,
The dust hitting my face,
You not on the rear seat...what a disgrace.

The rain stinging me like ur words,
I still refuse to listen to the birds,
Tobacco in my chest,
Leather on my vest,
Barley in my tummy,
Without you the world seems dummy.

The billboards scream of communist manifesto,
Having the 2 rupee chai in the next bristo,
The lift to the next town to a stranger,
By god the road is my avenger.

The monkey on the road....The monkey in my head,
With all the shit running thru my mind...everything else seems dead.

This,my girl is not a sonnet...
Believe me when i say this...
one day i shall make love to u on my first cars bonnet.....

All these ran thru my mind during the 320km ride to pondicherry. Dont ask me what it means......

You know u are yet to "fit in" to the big city crowd when.....
A smart she-Hey seems there is a central opening at jaynagar anthe....i am soooo happy...
The dumb me-Huh...all openings are in the center only..please be specific....
after 10mins...
A smart she- Yuck..thu..shameless...i was referring to the central mall...!!!
The dumb me- Oh...ok..!!!

On a completely different note.....
the same smart she- You know there is a guy in office whose dream is to design bikinis...how idiotic and stupid no...!!??
The MUCH smarter me- Whats so stupid in that...?? its quite challenging you know. Its tough to decide what to cover and what not to......!!!!

What has the world around me come to..............!!!?????
I ask a very fine lady friend of mine "Hey...u free on the first friday of october? we will go first day first show to himesh's movie radio?? i will pay for the tickets!!
She-thu.....get lost...
Me-What?? all i am asking you is to come to a movie...he is funny..!!
She-How can u expect people to accompany u to a himesh movie??
Me-I am not calling you to watch porn with me...!!
She-Watching porn with you is much more exciting than watching a Himesh movie....
What did she mean?? what did she mean??? I must really be a boring person or.......OR...........

Mediocrity, sidey theaters and empty wallets.....
Being in the midst of people who consider you a smart and suave guy makes u mediocre at the end.You reach home and realize you were good when people consider you dumb. Over a span of 10 months you have transformed into the typical cliche'. Cant survive between smarter people, feel disgusted acting the smart guy around people who consider you smart.

"Moving forward" (I am an IT guy u c, and we of-tan use these terms), my mediocrity has turned so mediocre, my supposedly busy ske-dule allowed me the rare luxury of a hindi movie in a theater. The only catch was i did not find another jobless kamina to watch kaminey. So yours truely went to a tent-converted-to-a-theater in the big city to watch the kaminey.
The theater is your quintessential adult movie theater which plays the occasional hit movie to save its credibility sort of a theater. There were exactly 23 people in the balcony section trying to find a lesser stained seat. The stains ranged in colours from red, white, yellow to blue.(I did not try to guess what fluids could have caused those stains). There were drunks, jobless people, pseudo joblesses like me, and girls who were cursing their male partners for bringing them to such a theater. Through the movie nice little female mosquitoes kept me company by caressing me in all the right and wrong places. (Not to forget priyanka chopras delicious saree wearing style...)
The only reason I did go to this theater is that i am salary-less from the 2 months due to some "technical glitches" as my folks put it. So an empty wallet and an empty mind is staring at this kamina now....!!

When girly things happen to ungirly fellows.
Not being an MCP or a feminist or all that in between, not withstanding those bollywood cliche's of engagements/marriages being the best place for clandistine flings, yours truely experienced all those things which boys/men of his age never dream of.
Being the unsocial animal i was for years,and living in the big city made me look like an alien, i thought of attending an engagement of a decent enough colleauge.Thanks to others who were too busy to make it, i went there decenlty dressed, empty handed, met the groom and the bride( who was wonderfully beautiful and was almost my age, which made mefeel guilty for her), had a cup of good filter coffee, declined lunch as i had to rush back to office and left the scene without a sound. Now 3 days after this, the colleauge who caught this wonderfully beautiful young girl asks me my age. I oblidge and tell him. He asks me my birth date, i oblige and tell him that too. He then asks me the time of my birth. I say i frankly do not know that and ask him y is he askingme all this?!? and then he drops the bomb...telling me "all the people there were asking details about you, you are hot property now.How much you make a month, what caste/subcaste are you and allthat."
It took me around 5 mins to realize what he was talking about, and i realised he was asking all this to hook me up for nuptial bliss with some1...!!!!!!I did not know wethere to be shocked, angry, happy that SOMEBODY took notice or plain baffeld.
For a guy who is 22, who was and is as single as a penis, this was page3 stuff...!!!For gods sake who will ask a 22 year old guy's details for marriage..!!?!? Either I must look6 yrs older than my actualy age which is extremely embarassing to me and insulting to my parents,OR every1 in that function hall had myopic tendancies. All the girls whose legs i had pulled pertaining marriage and boys and saas bahu stuff....all those times they have had to bear my stupid wise cracks about girls getting married early...!!What a field day for them....!!! Hats off to all those single girls who go to marriages/engagements or other places and have to face all this bullshit each and every time...!!! What a fuckin joke...!!

And then there was light...
Thanks to the wonderful atmosphere of the big city that i have been drinking from the past 8 months (among other things), it has suddenly struck me that i am an out-of-place techi in the big city corporate world. It seems 8 months has not evolved me into the quintessential techi that i should have become. Cause a normal techi within 8 months of earning his bread, butter and vodka has to have done the following things-
*Should have changed 2 extremely costly mobile phones even though his office does not allow him to get these fancy mobiles into the office.
*Should own a fancy Ipod.
*Should have had 2 break ups.
*Should suddenly follow F1 even though the only round thing that he sees close are not tyres.
*Beer is suddenly replaced by the costliest vodka.
*Has more plastic cards in his pockets than currency notes.
*Recognizes Meal tickets and Sodexo passes faster than a 10re note (which he uses seldom).
*Sports a fancy sunglass even at 8 in the night in a fancy pub.
*Should change his hair style every 15days.
*Should have attended atleast one bootcamp of some sort and one cycling/biking expedition with unknown people.
*And finally should never go to the pantry\cafeteria alone to drink a cup of coffee.

Except for the graduation form beer to vodka(albeit a cheap one), your's truely has had no success in becoming a successful techi in all other aspects. So heres asking suggestions in becoming a typecast techi in the big city so that yours truely can do better things in his off office hours other than blog on a low battery Laptop...!!