Coveted Confessions

2011-01-24T03:55:00.004+05:30

Are you worth it?
I am a guy who thinks too little of himself. Not too low...but too little of himself. People whom I respect and think of as "oh...its him/her", in my eyes can never do wrong. On the contrary, "other" people are just "people" to me. I don't mean I disrespect them, I do talk to them, laugh with them, share a perverted joke or two with them, but I forget the conversation the next instant.When the roles are reversed, when you miss the subtleties in "people", when people give you importance, do you question yourself sometime-are you worth it..?!
When a colleague who was just a "smoke friend" gives you a goodbye gift when you are leaving the company,
When kids you play with give you a send off card adding an adjective to every letter of your name,
When a distant relative whom you have not talked to for a long time calls you just before you leave the country,
When a "all the best" from a classmate is really earnest,
When someone whom you always annoy, in all her sleepiness asks you "when are you coming back",
When a guy who you just know by name says "you are really looking smart today",
When a hug lasts just that moment longer,
When the goodnight on skype is followed by a moment of silence and then you disconnect,
When a "thanks!!!" is followed by a twinkle in the eye,
When you hear "happppppy birthdayyyyyyyy" on the other end of the line, and you realize the other person is more excited than you,
When a simple "kya kar raha hain.....ghar aaja baatein karthe hain" pops up on your chat window,
When you hear a "how are you ,son" on skype sitting 3 oceans away,
When a "dont worry, you will find your way" sounds so so genuine,

Do you question yourself- Are you worth it??

P.S. Too all the people who read this blog and can relate to this post-I am too conceited to appreciate any of you fools, so in case I die conceited, think this as my epitaph to you ppl..!!!

2010-11-29T00:39:00.003+05:30

The cynic never dies...

I thought crossing 3 oceans, living alone, learning how to cook, braving the rain, the cold and the bloody snow, going through the study drill once again will make a "man" for the better. A "man" for tomorrow's world. But alas! The cold makes me more colder, the boredom laughs at me and the silence just stares at me. It does not ask me any question, it just stares. The creaks of the springs of the bed, the grumbling in my stomach, the wind hitting the chimney, all tease me. I think they tease me for an answer. But I let it pass. After all, its me who they tease!!
I still laugh at people who storm facebook with "my first snow" or "washing clothes at 2:45 in the morning" or "i loved shopping with you so and so". I don't judge them yet. But I laugh.
I am the guy who still sings old and sad songs in antakshari.
Among strangers, I still look out for the odd guy or girl who I think might be doing a Phd and talk.
I am still at awe at the odd guy/girl who can talk about Groucho, kailasam, Buster keaton, Fedrico Fellicini and Brain lara in the same 5 minute conversation.
I am still the guy who stands in the corner of the bar trying to gaze at everything.
I am still the guy whose gaze moves from the ankle and then to the bust.
I am still the guy who shrugs.....who smiles.....and has a silent laugh....
Perhaps somewhere deep inside I do not want the Cynic to die, perhaps that's the reason I don't try too much to bury him!!
Not many people will understand the gibberish above...but the 3 or 4 people who will understand this will also smile...laugh...and nod their heads at the screen and think of this fool for a few seconds and go "this ass will never change will he..!??"

2010-10-27T22:45:00.003+05:30

One month.
One month after my first flight.
One month in a new country.
One month of cold air on my face.
One month of continuous partying.
One month of pretty pretty pretty ladies.
One month of wondering how short skirts can keep the cold out.
One month of eating stupidity.
One month of meeting amazing people.
One month of skype.
One month of missing a lot of important people.
One month of nothingness.......
Oh...ive got a year more........

2010-09-28T14:48:00.002+05:30

From Tonachikoppal to Thames.
From playing lagori to the lords, from exchanging lables/stamps/coins/ to exchanging currencies, from wearing a chaddi to full body thermals, from demanding another breakfast to eating apples and carrots.
The boy has crossed three seas and finally come to the land of rains and no sunshine.
He has come here to study. Hopefully he does. He does not know how to cook, how to clean and yet stay healthy and strong.
Hopefully the boy will learn. Not to cook or clean, but to stay healthy and strong.
And in the mean time, if any of you know how to do the other things without much effort and money, please to teach!
After all, Thames cannot be much different than tonachikoppal, aint it?!?

2010-07-23T20:37:00.003+05:30

The feeling of feeling IMPORTANT

Ego is like a woman's duppatta. She wears it to boost hers, and the man thinks its to deflate
his.(this is original...mind it)
Ever gone in search for the opposite of "ego"? Seems it is "sacred self". Let me be your wren
and martin for this. "My ego does not allow me to tell her she is cute" viz a viz "my sacred
self will let her know she is cute". Understood?!

The reason I started off on a Oh-so-English explanation is this- Is feeling important more important than actually being important? Does making someone feel important in his/her's home/workplace/relationship more relevant than making him/her know his/her's worth?

That extra mention of a person's name at his work place more often, that extra long hand shake a girl gives you which you think is exclusive for you alone, that extra 5 minutes your manager spends with you, that extra helping you are offered at the free lunch, that sorry you are told when you are made to wait. Are all these ego boosters or humble
courtesy or plain fraud. Like she say's...fraud everything?!

I am typing this not because I suddenly felt important important or otherwise, Its only cause at
the high point of my carrier when i have got a xx% hike after working for 2 yrs, I am quitting. I am quitting to study once again.

Is being a "sacred self" akin to being content or being conceited?! If I had said "i don't care what my hike is, i know i worked well" would it be conceit or content!? If I said I work for challenges would it be sacred self or fraud?! If I said i dont care i just work for the money, what would that be?!
If I felt important, and still was not bothered about anything, would that be ego?!
Are content and sacred self just decorated bullshit to justify no motivation and not being a part
of the rat race!?
It might seem that I am asking all these questions at the wrong time, and I don't believe I shall get answers for these anytime soon, but I do believe that I am a fraud, an egoist,a sacred self and content!!!

2010-06-13T22:25:00.002+05:30

S.L.O.W M.O.T.I.O.N
It suddenly becomes cold, you fall sick. By mistake you take an overdose of citrezen and you are delusional....you think the best thing to do is to get under that thick rajhai that suddenly feels warm like her arms and you get tucked under it.

You realize you are only delusional and not sleepy. Watching tv is bad. Reading is bad as well...but perhaps less badder. You pick up this book given by a equally delusional person.
I am not much of a book critic. I read cause I like to. You read some books, and some books take you through the reading at their own pace. You cannot skip thru the lines, nor pages, nor words.
With lines like

a walk on a lonley night, and a meeting with the spirts, of the botteled kind

or this

Dear old Dehra : I may stop loving you, but I wont’ stop loving the days I loved you

Ruskin Bond's description of flowers, the savoy bar, the hill side and the calls of the local birds makes even the sweat running through your body go in slow motion. The eye lids close much slower, the clock seems to stop and you never realize when the book ends.
Its books like these that one should give and get as presents. Its books like these, that one should have in their book shelf, and read it every now and then.

2010-04-01T22:11:00.002+05:30

And then there was hair........
Growing up, my dream was to one day get a shave in a gillete and say "gillete...the best a man can get"...not because sachin said it while i was growing up...but it seemed elegant, it seemed royal, it seemed majestic.....the rub of that foam, that splash of that clear water, that after shave that you could smell even thru the tv, that sexy female in a neglige who rubs her face against the gillete man....all these seemed like a pipe dream once.

Growing up during the "development period", realizing this was not so tough.(after all the dollar rate is above 45 even today!!) Other than the female in the neglige', I have come to realize the gillete dream. And I also was dissapointed as to how easy it was to realize.

For people who have seen the ad, if you observe keenly, not a single ad in a single country had adolocent boys or even 20-23yr old males in them. All of them had men, everyday men, men of fame, men of power, they had your father, my father.
Its not difficult to own a gillete today, you can get it off your credit card. Hell.....you can even buy the neglige' and the female off it..!!

It seems, we grew up to early my friend.....or we assumed so. We never realized when we had to tick the next box in the check list someone gave us. We never realized at 24,that we have only 2 more years to "settle". We never realized that earning equates to getting older.We never realized girls of our age look at us differently now, or that the next question would be "what are you going to do next?". We never realized answering to that with a "i dont know" is immaturity and lacking vision.
One of my friends said "our lives were spent whistling at the wrong girl". My friend...we whistled too late......
Gillete does not make a man of you,nor does your monthly payslip.Neither does it allow you to be a boy....oh no sir, ....all it asks you is..."what are you gonna do next?.."

2010-03-23T10:09:00.004+05:30

Why you should not use facebook too much......
This is what happens when naive girls use too much of facebook.....!!!
(please to click on the pic for a better view...this was a female asking for nail...!!)

2010-03-12T16:40:00.003+05:30

Those little things....
The wonderful voice of a woman the holds a lot of promise, and who says thank you after you open the door for her in office...........
The help desk girl who says "have a nice day sir" before she keeps the phone down.....
The lingering smell of a woman's braids as she she standing besides you in the lift.
The smile when you light a stranger's smoke......
A personal email from a friend on your official inbox.....
Seeing another person on the floor who is just as frustrated as you are, and both understand that without a word being spoken.
These little things....is what keeps you going on a boring bloody friday afternoon.....

2010-02-19T12:17:00.000+05:30

Tripping thru..
The body relaxes,the fists clench. It's as if i'm going thru rigor mortis. I shake.
I wake up.I look around. I lie down. I curl. I am in the fetal position again. I close my
eyes. I see people around me, i hear them. I want to get up, i want to run.
I fall, I fall deeper and deeper. I open my eyes. There are 2 me's. One that say all this
is an illusion. I am ok. The world is ok. I am fine. Its just that i've woken up suddenly
from a deep sleep. Some water on my face will fix things.
No...No...nothing is ok. the other me shouts out. I close my eyes again. I fall, I fall..
Its an abyss i see. Its not dark, its colourfull, the colours of fire. Its a triangle. Its closing
in, its closing in.....its hot...i am burning from the inside...i want out...i want out...
I can see those hands, i want to reach them, but i cant, i am falling, the triangle is closing in..
I open my eyes...This is not happening, i am fine, this is a dream....I am ok....i close
my eyes again.
I am walking thru a cloud...its just grey haze. I am walking....I am walking...I fall....
and then.... there was light...

2010-02-10T03:10:00.003+05:30

What has the world around me come to, Part 2 (And perhaps the penultimate part)

Me- Thu...you are shameless....2 with you.
(dear readers, please to oblige, I am a kid most of the times)

A she-Hmm.....3 and 4 also with you.....!! :P :D

Me-Huh...what does that mean??is that a joke?

A she-Blink Blink?? Please think...

Me- Oh shit....!!

And it was the rubber gir l who said the above lines.....how oxymoronic......!!!! Look what 1 year and me did to her...!!
Its disgusting to know people are getting smarter and you are loosing your aim....

Oh i digress....!!! I am planning to turn into a monk after this.....!!!

P.S. From the times of convent education till today's "international schools", ask any kid in India what "2 with you" means.

2010-01-31T10:45:00.002+05:30

I loose my inhibitions, I loose my solitude,
With the wind in my hair and dust in my face,
In me a great concoction is brewed.

The grease, the pain, the oil the stain,
Where do I go, this cross, that main?
Oh thy road, be my abode,
let the showers of blessings on me be bestowed.
Fill up the tank, grease the chain,
I ride again into the rain, I ride again into the rain.....

Coastal karnatka on my yezdi did things to me.....The bad roads the good roads, the salt in the air, the girl who was oh-so fair....
After cancellations and deliberations, 7 fools finally decided to go on a trip to the coast and malnad regions of our wonderful state.
2 men on 2 bikes and 5 ladies in a car (by ladies i mean men who preffered a car to a bike) headed out to the coast, following each and every milepost.

2009-12-17T10:03:00.003+05:30

The pillion.
An empty pocket ,a bent sprocket
The unsettled dust on that old jacket.
All these forced me to ride as a pillion,
Oh i say the ride was one in a million.

The potholes on the road, the potholes in my head,
The thought of you makes the whole world seem dead.
The smell of rubber,burnt on the road in protest,
the slogan shouting on a politician's pretext,
In between all this, you are hard to forget.

The curves on the road, the curves around your waist,
That kiss which has left a lingering taste.
The mist in the air, reminds me of our little affair,
In this cold,at this moment,
All i ask is to nestle in your lovely hair.

This my love, is not the idea of a drunks prank,
Believe when is say this,
I shall make love to you on my next bike's petrol tank...

But until then, i shall contend with the nearest sperm bank....

This was the stupidity that ran through while riding as a pillion to horsley hills this week.
Dont ask me who i am referring to or what it means.

2009-11-27T23:13:00.003+05:30

My best one yet.....
This one flashed to me while i was having dosa alone and looking around...

"A duppata is the creation of god to increase the ego of a woman...and the curiosity of a man....."

- Silk smitha and disco shanti...

2009-11-04T16:18:00.003+05:30

The ride...

The wind in my hair,
The dust hitting my face,
You not on the rear seat...what a disgrace.

The rain stinging me like ur words,
I still refuse to listen to the birds,
Tobacco in my chest,
Leather on my vest,
Barley in my tummy,
Without you the world seems dummy.

The billboards scream of communist manifesto,
Having the 2 rupee chai in the next bristo,
The lift to the next town to a stranger,
By god the road is my avenger.

The monkey on the road....The monkey in my head,
With all the shit running thru my mind...everything else seems dead.

This,my girl is not a sonnet...
Believe me when i say this...
one day i shall make love to u on my first cars bonnet.....

All these ran thru my mind during the 320km ride to pondicherry. Dont ask me what it means......

2009-10-02T20:54:00.002+05:30

You know u are yet to "fit in" to the big city crowd when.....
A smart she-Hey seems there is a central opening at jaynagar anthe....i am soooo happy...
The dumb me-Huh...all openings are in the center only..please be specific....
after 10mins...
A smart she- Yuck..thu..shameless...i was referring to the central mall...!!!
The dumb me- Oh...ok..!!!

On a completely different note.....
the same smart she- You know there is a guy in office whose dream is to design bikinis...how idiotic and stupid no...!!??
The MUCH smarter me- Whats so stupid in that...?? its quite challenging you know. Its tough to decide what to cover and what not to......!!!!

2009-09-26T00:34:00.003+05:30

What has the world around me come to..............!!!?????
I ask a very fine lady friend of mine "Hey...u free on the first friday of october? we will go first day first show to himesh's movie radio?? i will pay for the tickets!!
She-thu.....get lost...
Me-What?? all i am asking you is to come to a movie...he is funny..!!
She-How can u expect people to accompany u to a himesh movie??
Me-I am not calling you to watch porn with me...!!
She-Watching porn with you is much more exciting than watching a Himesh movie....
What did she mean?? what did she mean??? I must really be a boring person or.......OR...........

2009-08-21T20:47:00.004+05:30

Mediocrity, sidey theaters and empty wallets.....
Being in the midst of people who consider you a smart and suave guy makes u mediocre at the end.You reach home and realize you were good when people consider you dumb. Over a span of 10 months you have transformed into the typical cliche'. Cant survive between smarter people, feel disgusted acting the smart guy around people who consider you smart.

"Moving forward" (I am an IT guy u c, and we of-tan use these terms), my mediocrity has turned so mediocre, my supposedly busy ske-dule allowed me the rare luxury of a hindi movie in a theater. The only catch was i did not find another jobless kamina to watch kaminey. So yours truely went to a tent-converted-to-a-theater in the big city to watch the kaminey.
The theater is your quintessential adult movie theater which plays the occasional hit movie to save its credibility sort of a theater. There were exactly 23 people in the balcony section trying to find a lesser stained seat. The stains ranged in colours from red, white, yellow to blue.(I did not try to guess what fluids could have caused those stains). There were drunks, jobless people, pseudo joblesses like me, and girls who were cursing their male partners for bringing them to such a theater. Through the movie nice little female mosquitoes kept me company by caressing me in all the right and wrong places. (Not to forget priyanka chopras delicious saree wearing style...)
The only reason I did go to this theater is that i am salary-less from the 2 months due to some "technical glitches" as my folks put it. So an empty wallet and an empty mind is staring at this kamina now....!!

2009-06-27T17:28:00.002+05:30

When girly things happen to ungirly fellows.
Not being an MCP or a feminist or all that in between, not withstanding those bollywood cliche's of engagements/marriages being the best place for clandistine flings, yours truely experienced all those things which boys/men of his age never dream of.
Being the unsocial animal i was for years,and living in the big city made me look like an alien, i thought of attending an engagement of a decent enough colleauge.Thanks to others who were too busy to make it, i went there decenlty dressed, empty handed, met the groom and the bride( who was wonderfully beautiful and was almost my age, which made mefeel guilty for her), had a cup of good filter coffee, declined lunch as i had to rush back to office and left the scene without a sound. Now 3 days after this, the colleauge who caught this wonderfully beautiful young girl asks me my age. I oblidge and tell him. He asks me my birth date, i oblige and tell him that too. He then asks me the time of my birth. I say i frankly do not know that and ask him y is he askingme all this?!? and then he drops the bomb...telling me "all the people there were asking details about you, you are hot property now.How much you make a month, what caste/subcaste are you and allthat."
It took me around 5 mins to realize what he was talking about, and i realised he was asking all this to hook me up for nuptial bliss with some1...!!!!!!I did not know wethere to be shocked, angry, happy that SOMEBODY took notice or plain baffeld.
For a guy who is 22, who was and is as single as a penis, this was page3 stuff...!!!For gods sake who will ask a 22 year old guy's details for marriage..!!?!? Either I must look6 yrs older than my actualy age which is extremely embarassing to me and insulting to my parents,OR every1 in that function hall had myopic tendancies. All the girls whose legs i had pulled pertaining marriage and boys and saas bahu stuff....all those times they have had to bear my stupid wise cracks about girls getting married early...!!What a field day for them....!!! Hats off to all those single girls who go to marriages/engagements or other places and have to face all this bullshit each and every time...!!! What a fuckin joke...!!

2009-05-20T12:20:00.002+05:30

And then there was light...
Thanks to the wonderful atmosphere of the big city that i have been drinking from the past 8 months (among other things), it has suddenly struck me that i am an out-of-place techi in the big city corporate world. It seems 8 months has not evolved me into the quintessential techi that i should have become. Cause a normal techi within 8 months of earning his bread, butter and vodka has to have done the following things-
*Should have changed 2 extremely costly mobile phones even though his office does not allow him to get these fancy mobiles into the office.
*Should own a fancy Ipod.
*Should have had 2 break ups.
*Should suddenly follow F1 even though the only round thing that he sees close are not tyres.
*Beer is suddenly replaced by the costliest vodka.
*Has more plastic cards in his pockets than currency notes.
*Recognizes Meal tickets and Sodexo passes faster than a 10re note (which he uses seldom).
*Sports a fancy sunglass even at 8 in the night in a fancy pub.
*Should change his hair style every 15days.
*Should have attended atleast one bootcamp of some sort and one cycling/biking expedition with unknown people.
*And finally should never go to the pantry\cafeteria alone to drink a cup of coffee.

Except for the graduation form beer to vodka(albeit a cheap one), your's truely has had no success in becoming a successful techi in all other aspects. So heres asking suggestions in becoming a typecast techi in the big city so that yours truely can do better things in his off office hours other than blog on a low battery Laptop...!!

2009-05-03T21:17:00.003+05:30

Finally......
I put my finger to better use....and...hopefully this stain has more meaning...!!!

2009-04-07T23:55:00.004+05:30

7 seas apart....and still.....
2 good old friends, one with uncle sam and the other with mom india. google chat and chai.
mom india's faithul son (mifs)-hi man...hengidya?? (how u)
uncle sam's unfaitful son(usus)-sooper aagiddini..swalpa bore aagide jeevana (i am sooper..but life is getting boring)
mifs-yaake...more boring than mine??
usus-gottilla... projects that cannot be understood... home sick roomies... less motivated self... jobless... less money!
mifs-ha ha...more than mine?
Hectic and boring job.....boringer colleauges.....wasted hormones.......college rejects.... slowly growing waste line.....receeding intellect and high nicotine!

7 seas, different timezones, different cuisines, different pocket sizes, different relationship status .........and one common denominator....we are a screwed up generation...!!
This video might explain more...if u cannot understand the lyrics, drop me a mail and i shall send u the explanation (this makes this post suddenly appear important!!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRXopK8Ppr4&feature=related
P.S-usus went away telling maga.. ISKON oota ide eega!! indian food! see u later (iskon food now...indian food...see u later)

2009-03-21T10:43:00.002+05:30

Err...some self discovery after a looong time..!!!!
It took me 22 long years to figure out that the female species is as complex and twisted as latent heat in thermodynamics. Coming from a home where 3 men tried not to understand 2 women, i had not realised the fact that one should be "woman educated" to appear smart in front of the fairer sex. As I have now c(r)ash landed in the big city and am living with relatives with 3 women and 1 man, i have come to realize that i am terribly woman challenged.
Mother india, thankfully not being so fashion conscious, i never had seen/grown up with the nitty gritty of fashion. But now I have come to realize that if u want to get a hair cut, u talk about it from 1 month, discuss with neighbors which is the best saloon in the area, check wether the salon is clean, if the woman who cuts your hair is decent enough and most importantly, fix a date to get your hair cut. And when the day finally arrives, u are still thinking if getting your hair cut at this time of the season is good, what will others think if you cut your hair at this time of the day, and is there sufficient water in the bath room, if the conditioner you had bought one month ago is still good, if you have the right towel to wrap your hair afterwards....and finally after the hair cut is done, you go on telling the world that you have "trimmed" your hair. If people tell you that the "trimming" was good, then u call the hair cutting "lady" an artist and if they tell you "oh..i liked you better b4 the hair cut", you call the hair cutting "female" names i do not use and make sure she looses out on 2 customers who u know.

Any upcoming festival,marriage (by upcoming i mean after 2 months), the dress is decided now. Not just the dress, the colour, the jewellry, the salon where u gonna get your make up done and most importantly the dress is supposedly "exclusive" and no one else in the family should wear the same type/colour of dress. You go searching for a matching pair of sandals/shoe/slippers for the dress. And finally when the day arrives you wear a different dress you liked better.

Madur bandarkar's fashion failed to educate me so much as i have learned in the past 6 months. Am i yet to learn many things or is this enough to make me fashionably educated???

P.S-I flunked twice in thermodynamics. If thats a consolation...!!!

2009-02-08T22:39:00.004+05:30

Mail Mail mein me.....

In the big city corporate world, checking mails is REALLY an importnat thing. And more important is to make sure other people know that you have checked your mail. All the mails I used to ever receive before being a "techie" were all related to increasing the size of one's penis, or getting a bigger bust line, investment ideas from nigeria or job offers which never suited my resume (if it's a resume). But after being a "techie" and get a corporate email ID, I've come to realize the (un) importance of mails and reading them.

Essentially, there are like 2 types of mails.

Out of office mails-ones where u send out mails to the whole world that u are not working and please do not contact me or-i-will-screw-u.

And the most important of mails-Communication mails.These mails are supposed to be sent out to make sure ppl understand what u have already told them. You have xplained something for 1hr to a person and he has understood it, but still u've to spend 2hrs typing that out and mailing it to him. Y u ask..??? For the only reason that if the guy screws up in his job, he can always tell that you did not xplain things to him properly.!! OR you can cc this to your manager and tell him that u have done xtra work and hope he will give u a better rating/appraisal the next time.

The wonderful things about mails in the corporate world is that, u can always attach "checking your mails" as a reason for your incompitence/compitence.

Your manager asks " u y u did not attend the meeting?-

"oh...i did not chk my mails, i chkd it now!"

manager-"But don't u know the meeting is postponed and its now?"

"oh...my mailbox is capped and i am not receiving any new mails"

Some unwanted colleauge ask's u out for coffee-"sorry, i am checking my mails"

Some unwanted colleauge ask's u y u haven't completed ur work "i am chking my mails"

Y are u late to office-"i was chking mails from home"

Y are u leaving early "gotta chk mails and those mails are not openenig in office"

Where is the report?-"mailing them"

Where is the report?-"have mailed them, mostly ur mailbox has been capped".

Why am i ending this post abruptly....?? "sorry, i am blogging from office and me gotta chk my mails..!! "

P.S. I chkd my yahoo mailbox and have a job post mail. It is from a company called CLIMAX OIL. Of all the mails i get...!!!! The only problem is these ppl require "qualified people who have 2yrs experience".......my my...only if i had started working earlier...!!! any of u guy's interested..!???

2009-01-30T11:11:00.003+05:30

...........
On those cold nights when I take you to my lips,
When the wind caresses you and you shiver,
Where I hold you still and feel your warmth,
When your flame and my passion collide,
When holding you is a sin,
When you fill me with a sense of fulfillment,
Just when I am done with you,
When the last embers die.....

I only wish........ for one more puff of life....
Or one last kiss of death....??

2009-01-04T11:21:00.003+05:30

Main aur meri mardhangi
Main aur meri mardhangi Aksar ye batein karte hain
Tum hote to kaisa hotatu yeh kahte, tum woh kahte
Tum is baat pe hairan hotetum us baat pe kitni haste
tum hote to aisa hota, tum hote to waisa hota
Main aur meri mardhangi,aksar yeh baten karte hain

Yeh raat hai ya computer screen ki hai chandani,
ya tumhari nazron se meri raatein dhooli hui hain
Yeh error hai ya koi false alert
sitarain hain ya message ke beep
Air conditioning ka jhoka hai, ya kiski extra-strong de-odurant ki khusboo
Yeh pattiyon ki hai sarsarahat, ki cisco phone me koi chupke se kuch kahara hai
Yeh sochta hoon main kabse gumsum jabki mujhko bhi yeh khabar hai
Ki tum nahi ho, kahin nahi ho Margar yeh dil hai ki kah raha haiki tum yahin ho, yahin kahin ho.
Majboor yeh haalat edhar bhi hai udhar bhi
Tanhai ki ek raat edhar bhi hai udhar bhi
Kahne ko bahut kuch hai magar kisse kahain hum
Kab tak yuhin khamosh rahein aur sahe hum
Dil kahta hai tec* ke har alert ko hata dein
Neend jo hum sab mein hai aaj bat dein
Kyun dil mein sulagte rahain, logo ko bata dein HAN HUMKO neend arrahi HAI, aarhai HAI, arrahi hai!
Aub dil mein yahi baat edhar bhi hai udhar bhi
Main aur meri mardhangiAksar ye batein karte hain

For a middle class boy who grew up hearing thigs like "work is worship" and "honesty is the best policy" the whole idea of staying up late nights just so that some1 else sleeps early is a lil disturbing.What happened to those ideas of "Yes we can" and "I will be the change"? Those dreams of being a rich guy someday? Those dreams of donating to a noble cause?All those turned out to be nothing more than calculating how much more u can claim for travel benifits, shift allowance and so on. Compare each other's pay slip and find out who has made the most.Call up relatives in US using ur office phone,take 100 page personal prints using the office printer,ask for 100rs petrol bill for 25rs of petrol.See which girl's top is too low or whose bottom is too high,comment on a girl's waistline,neckline and her phoneline,talk in front of a colleauge in language he does not understand,buy the costliest mobile on loan,watch movies on the net while at work, take sick leaves on new year's eve.

Mein aur meri mardhangi aksar ye baate karte hainTum hote to kaisa hota,tu yeh kahte, tum woh kahte

*tec=something i work on
P.s: Office blogging is FUN..!!

2008-12-23T10:18:00.002+05:30

It’s ignorance meets egoism meets bad taste meets mob rule.

T. H. Huxley, the nineteenth-century evolutionary biologist and author of the “infinite monkey theorem.” Huxley’s theory says that if you provide infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters, some monkey somewhere will eventually create a masterpiece—a play by Shakespeare, a Platonic dialogue, or an economic treatise by Adam Smith.^[1]

In the pre-Internet age, T. H. Huxley’s scenario of infinite monkeys empowered with infinite technology seemed more like a mathematical jest than a dystopian vision. But what had once appeared as a joke now seems to foretell the consequences of a flattening of culture that is blurring the lines between traditional audience and author, creator and consumer, expert and amateur. This is no laughing matter.

Today’s technology hooks all those monkeys up with all those typewriters. Except in our Web 2.0 world, the typewriters aren’t quite typewriters, but rather networked personal computers, and the monkeys aren’t quite monkeys, but rather Internet users. And instead of creating masterpieces, these millions and millions of exuberant monkeys—many with no more talent in the creative arts than our primate cousins—are creating an endless digital forest of mediocrity. For today’s amateur monkeys can use their networked computers to publish everything from uninformed political commentary, to unseemly home videos, to embarrassingly amateurish music, to unreadable poems, reviews, essays, and novels.

At the heart of this infinite monkey experiment in self-publishing is the Internet diary, the ubiquitous blog. Blogging has become such a mania that a new blog is being created every second of every minute of every hour of every day. We are blogging with monkeylike shamelessness about our private lives, our sex lives, our dream lives, our lack of lives, our Second Lives. At the time of writing there are fifty-three million blogs on the Internet, and this number is doubling every six months. In the time it took you to read this paragraph, ten new blogs were launched.

If we keep up this pace, there will be over five hundred million blogs by 2010, collectively corrupting and confusing popular opinion about everything from politics, to commerce, to arts and culture. Blogs have become so dizzyingly infinite that they’ve undermined our sense of what is true and what is false, what is real and what is imaginary. These days, kids can’t tell the difference between credible news by objective professional journalists and what they read on joeshmoe.blogspot.com. For these Generation Y utopians, every posting is just another person’s version of the truth; every fiction is just another person’s version of the facts.

The above excerpt from the book-The Cult of the Amateur: How Today's Internet Is Killing Our Culture is some food for thought for all of us jobless bloggers. Read this book if u can, or ask me for it...i will search for a pdf...!! :P :P

P.S. Do u agree with the author's view on internet and all the other things..?? Thanks to internet I can atleast pay my own bills..!!!

2008-12-18T07:25:00.003+05:30

Y I am a bad influence on the opposite sex... :(
After the Rubber fiasco.....A she is trying to think too much on the sidey side. She suddenly sends me a message the other night saying
"I just discovered that if 'p' was 'b', the smiely with the tounge out, i.e :P, the smiely would not have looked so cute, see :b"
What a nice line of thinking no...?? even a simple smiely can be made an object of sexual pervertness by navie girls nowadays....c how such a bad influence i am..?? :( :(

2008-12-12T15:00:00.002+05:30

The biggest joke and perhaps the greatest tragedy of my life...!!

Me-So what u going to give me for my 22nd birthday....
A She-Hmm....how about a scented rubber...just like kids...??!!
Me-OHHHO....!!! :O :O does it have flavor as well....!???
i ask this and fall out of my chair laughing...!!!

The poor girl said it in all her naivety and innocence....but...i do have one of the dirtiest mind of them all..!!!! And the biggest tragedy is the girl most probably did not get the reason i was laughing for....!!!

2008-12-02T10:58:00.003+05:30

Paying the PRICE.......
Now that I am fully grown adult(at least physically), living in the big city and earning a decent amount enough to fill my stomach(and other things)....it seems insanely ridiculous when mother india asks you to pay for ice creams....!!! I mean...for 21.7 years you and father have paid for my ice creams,clothes,food,petrol,books(which i never asked you to pay for),guns and all the other things i spend on and i do not tell you about. Just because i have started earning and i dont know what to do with the money i get...does not mean i've got to pay for ice creams, the mensinakay, kotthombri soppu, the gellucil, the zenetac and all that stupid stuff! What happened to those 5rs u would give me to get all this stuff and whose change u would never get back..!?? what happened to those 2 crisp notes i used to get every 5th day of the month..??? What happened to those coins u always wondered as to where they disappeared..??
Am i paying the price for everything or am i paying the price..........????

2008-11-12T10:19:00.004+05:30

My own BIG JOKE....!! (for ppl who understand kannada)
The other day i was in a book shop saw this guy whose name was mayil gowda. So the first thing that flashed to me was......
"what happens if this guy turns gay...??"
"he will become mayilige gowda....!!"
hahahahhaa.....all ppls muchkond laugh....!!!!

2008-10-31T13:14:00.002+05:30

Do these things happen to every1 in the corporate world....???

Does Air conditioning make u go to the restroom more than 5 times a day?? And everytime you leave, ur manager is not there but everytime u come back he/she is always there...???

Everytime you go the pantry only then the coffee is over.
Everytime you to go have lunch to the food court, there is a big queue or there is nothing at all...???
Everytime you are early there is no work but anytime u are late there its as if the sky is falling down..
Everyday u get ur badge no one notices it but everytime u forget it the whole world notices it...???

2008-10-24T19:05:00.005+05:30

Things I am trying to "unlearn" in the big city corporate world.
I hate my pre-school teachers...no i really do hate them....!! Did u know that in the big city corporate world, while spelling out ur name or anything for that matter, u are not supposed to use things like D for Dog or P for Pot....it is supposed to be derogative....!!!! I mean just imagine this..u are spelling out something to some1 and just like that u have to use something else for D other than dog. D for dog becomes D for delta, P for pot becomes P for papa and C for cat becomes C for charlie...!!
Just list out what u can come up just-like-that for these letters other than what was/is thought to us conventionally from pre school.

S for.....??
C for.....??
F for.....??
B for....??

Am I the only person to have a dirty mind or do all of u have a dirty mind as well..!?!?!

2008-10-13T21:00:00.003+05:30

My first Office Romance.....

There is this girl who comes to relieve me....we exchange the initial hello's and how was ur holiday stuff and all other unwanted bitching about work. She gets up to go out somewhere, and there...just then....her hanky falls down..I am like..this is the time...all those bollywood movies are made of...!!! I am about to pick it up and give it to her and start all those things that happens in those movies...and she turns around to say..."hey...i think i dropped my hanky..did u c it..."
I am like..."yeah...i think its there...." She takes it and I say bye and leave.....and thats how my bollywood style romance ended....!!! Y do these dumb bollywood movies show all this nonsense...!!!! :( :( :(

2008-09-26T17:42:00.003+05:30

My observations on the opposite sex in the big city corporate world...
It has been more than a week since ive been in the corporate world of the big city. Since sitting on my ass for 8hrs straight and doing nothing did not feel exciting enough, i thought of analyzing all the "items" of the opposite sex very inconspicuously and i came up with this.....

1.The Bigger city girl who has moved into the Big city.
This girl forms the upper echelon of the "item" strata. Normally you would associate this girl with those high end pubs in the big city and in whose hands there are always 5 things-
Purse,a flashy cellphone,her ID,a pack of imported/supposedly less harmful cigerattes and a extremely costly but stylish lighter.
It is this girl who garners the most attention in office/the food court, always wears the tightest pants and who always looks like she has walked out of a 2nd hand fashion magazine

2. The born and bought up in the big city girl who wants to be like the bigger city girl.
This girl is one of ur quintessential waanabess. Her pant gets tighter every day, her skirts get shorter everyday and her accent gets more "yankeed" everyday.This girl does not hesitate to swipe her card anywhere and everywhere.This girl thinks mall trotting every weekend is the second coolest thing to do after trying to flirt with male co-workers. But all it takes is one look and u come to know she is just another big city girl who attends slimming and aerobic classes to fit into those tight pants and is not very successful in her attempts at attaining size 0.

3.The small city girl who will always remain a small city girl.
She is one of those girls who ur mother will like. Not too jazzy not to dumb, does her work as always and goes straight home. Even though she always wants to be like a big city girl, she is never gonna admit it and will leave no stone un-turned in trying to comment on the big city girl in a very subtle way. This girl also goes mall hopping but only once a month.

4.The small/big city/bigger city girl who has suddenly turned rich (or so she thinks)
She forms the scum of all the "items". She is the girl who has suddenly money on her hands thanks to the high dollar rate in our country. She is one girl who has seen the credit card first and the ATM card next. She is the girl who after 21 yrs has suddenly found out that her father is the most dumbest person on earth cause he did not have a credit card.This girl will buy paper backs only to keep it in her book shelf but never read it. This girl will try and converse in english even though she does not know the difference between chick and chic. She will try to show the world that she has had a string of boy friends while in reality her boss would have been the first male outside the family she would have talked for more than 10 mins to.

5. And finally the big city girl who is so very humble u would doubt her humbleness.
This forms a very minute composition in the big city corporate world. She would have seen the big city in and out, been there done that, but never talked about that. She would have seen the money, them credit cards and those designer labels. She would have frequented the malls and have shopped till her cash ran out but never used her credit card. This girl would have read all the best books and seen the best movies but will never brag about it. She is the best person to have a sensible conversation with. But after the chat, u will always doubt her humbleness and her intellect...!!

Now to which category do u, u and u belong..!? And did i miss out on any category...????

2008-09-22T18:15:00.003+05:30

Yeah Yeah.....
Yeah....the lazy ass started working....!! I know it sounds funny..but yeah....i am supposed to be working...if u consider sitting on ur bum for 8hrs doing nothing and listening to "team mates" about software...well i am working.
Hey..but do i need to be complaining..!??? every person i met b4 i started work told me that work was a bitch and i needed to njoy life more. Well i do not know abt work being a bitch, but i seriously think i barked/squealed/howled the wrong tree...!!
How many of u get paid for chatting...?? i get paid for chatting..!!!!
How many of u ppl at this day and age still use the notepad on XP..!?? i use and i get paid for it...!!
How many of u are given a debit card and a bank account with 0 rupees in it...!!??
And finally....how many of u do not know who ur boss is...!??

2008-09-02T14:00:00.006+05:30

Not At all ON....!!!
Me and 12 year old brother india are watching a decent enough song on Mtv. There is tickr which always scrolls on the bottom of the screen and carries spoofs of popular hindi movies.Today it was about the movie "ROCK ON". It said,

Q."What will the porno version of ROCK ON be called?"

A."HARD ON" :)

thats what appeared and 12 yr old brother india asks me what "HARD ON" means...!!!!!
Believe me when i say ive explained more deeper anatomical things to girls of my age and some times of boys of my age too. But...this was...i donno....I was in-explainable to my own brother...!!! Thankfully the next scroll was

Q."If the movie was about a girl band, what would it be called?"

A. "FROCK ON"

Reading this 12 yr old brother india and me laughed "HA HA HA" and hopefully he forgot about the HARD ON stuff....!!!!

P.S Sadhya he did not ask me what porno meant...!!!

P.S.2 what am i gonna answer the next time if he asks me something as deeply, broadly and HARD-ly anatomical as this..!?!? please help..thumba thanks..!!!

2008-08-16T23:59:00.005+05:30

I am ashamed to say this...but........
Just yesterday, a 20 something girl met with quite an accident near my house. Leaving the sequence of the accident apart, i ran to c what happened and saw that the lady was quite hurt in the face and was in a state of shock. She was in quite a mess and thankfully an auto arrived just in time. The only problem was, none of the bystanders, who were all incidentally men, were ready to pick her up and put her in the auto just for the fact that she was a girl....!!!! Most of them were apprehensive to even touch the girl. I am trying to lift that girl up and not a single person around was ready to help..!!! thankfully there were some level headed people around including my mother who lifted her up, put her into an auto and took her to the hospital.

Leaving all this apart, i told the same story to 3 of my friends on 3 different occasions (who were incidentally boys/men) and their first reaction was " was the girl good looking"..!!?? I was like what the fuckkkk...!!!!! a 20 something girl is lying on the road with blood all over her face and i am supposed to judge whether she was good looking or not and check her out..!!!?!??!?!
FOR ALL MY TESTOSTERONE , I NEVER EVEN LOOKED AT HER FACE(or any other part of her anatomy) PROPERLY......!!! And then this guy tells me a great idea... "dude...u should have gone to her house or her hospital and told her i was the one who helped , and she would have been very impressed"....!!
On second thoughts, i thought that his was a great idea....what say..!?? :P :P
Whatever said and done..i am ashamed to say this...but.....we are dogs...what say..!!???

P.S.1 Did i do a great mistake to "MAN"kind by not checking the girl out..!!??
P.S.2 I did check out one of the girls who had come to help out....she was neat a neat work of art and in 3 seconds i figured out her vital stats...does this even out my MANLINESS..!!!??
Please ppls, answer my questions as these questions are haunting me and i am having my doubts about my own hormones...!!!! please please please...!!!! thumba thanks..!!

2008-08-14T22:49:00.002+05:30

This thing happened about an year ago...but what the hell....i remembered it now and here it is...!!
I am not a fitness freak or anything, but just because i have nothing better to do in the evenings, i go jogging on most days to a nearby lake. The lake itself is quite "scenic" to say the least with its migratory and other form of "birds". Leaving the "birds" bit apart, its a nice 4.5-5km jog/walk i enjoy for practically no reason.
Except for the occasional beautiful-girl-who-u-read-about-in-books and the boy-girl walk hand in hand and the whole world stares at them things, nothing much happens there and i c the same faces almost everyday.
And then there was this day, when it had rained just enough to take the dust of the ground, it was a sort of a make-u-feel good evening. And there i was jogging and trying to sweat it out, when all of a sudden i heard a voice which had a familiar tone to it which made me stop and turn around. And there she was....just like in her movies always smiling and her hair falling just to her shoulder, perizad zorabian....!! I just stood there like a fool shaking my head trying to clear it to make sure i was not seeing things dude excessive perspiration. But it was really her..!!
It was like a high school boy-dream come true, seeing a beautiful damsel from the movies in your city and sitting on a bench on the path where u go jogging everyday....!! I was like "dude....this is it....this is what movie like notting hill are made for" and i was about to go and talk to her when i saw a man sitting next to her who i presumed was her husband....and to my utter shock....i saw perizad was pregnant...!! I mean its not that i have never ever seen a pregnant woman or something before, its just that the idea of seeing a movie siren pregnant is not very pleasing u know...i mean...celebrity damsels like her are supposed to be ever beautiful and always in your dreams right..!?? so i continued with my jog wondering if it really was perizad zaorabian...!! Just to make sure i literally ran back to c if it was really her and even then my brain refused to believe it was really a pregnant perizad zorabian...!! I went home, googled the latest about her and found out she really was pregnant and was in her mid pregnancy and the person i saw was really her....!!

And from then on i go jogging everyday in the hope of reliving once again the high school boy-dream of seeing a beautiful movie damsel sitting there smiling with her hair let loose.....if not for reliving the boy-dream, what the hell....i always get to see those occasional "birds"..!!

2008-08-13T22:55:00.002+05:30

You don't feel disappointed yourself, but the whole world around you feels disappointed for u.....what is this state called..!?? any answers...!?!?

2008-08-07T23:27:00.003+05:30

Small city boy in the big city.
As I have now moved from mysore to the big city in the hope of secruing a job (or the lack of it), from now on I will run a series of posts on my experiences in the big city.
Having heard about and seen a bit myself of the wonderful traffic in the big city, I decided to take a 25 kilometer ride on a motorbike to "feel" the traffic.
The wonderful thing about the big city's roads are its pavement walls. On most of these walls u see movie posters and invariably most of these movie posters are of adult movies. Movies like "and then god made a woman", "drugs and aids", "guest house" , "insaan aur shaithan", "modala papa" and so on. And for most parts there are no actual photographs of these movies but caricatures or some sort of paintings which are kinky enough to kindle a male 2 wheeler rider's imagination who has his hands on the accelerator.
So as u c, these movie posters are the main cause of rash driving among male 2 wheeler riders in the big city.

P.S. I intend this to be funny so please laugh. Thumba thanks.
Due excessive joblessness my blogging brain cells have ceased to work. So kindly suggest some remedial measures to overcome this. Thumba thanks.

2008-07-23T16:54:00.006+05:30

Things heard while eves dropping on 5 not so beautiful girls while waiting in a queue...
(like it wasn't technically eves dropping...i was just standing in front of them)

Girl 1-this is ur first time here..!?
Girl 2-yeah
Girl1-oh...mine is like some 3rd-4th time..i had been here while i was very young..
Girl3-like u know the story behind this thing..??
Girl4-nope....like u know...!??
Girl5-yeah...like there was this guy..and he fell in love with this girl. The problem was this girl was initially scared after seeing him, but later her dad convinced her to marry him and all.
So finally like this guy's father borrowed money from one more fellow for his son's marriage. So thats y this place came into being.
The rest of the girls in chorus-Oh yeah..now i remember...i was told abt this when i was young.
Girl5-so the moral of the story is it is good to borrow money..!!
The rest of the girls in chorus-ha ha ha ha ha....

And the queue in thirupathi inched forward.....i was trying to ask my grandmother if that story was true.....and i was trying to figure how to keep my panche(dhothi) on my waist for the rest of the time...!!

P.S-i never really got to ask my grandmother....is this story true..!?
P.S.2. The thirupathi laddos are over and please DO NOT ask me for them.
P.S.3 y will 5 girls in all their youth, vigour and vitality come to thirupati on a conducted tour like just like that...!?? (i was dragged by my family...so don't even think of asking me y i was there)

2008-07-16T00:38:00.004+05:30

Low disk space

You are running out of disk space on local disk (U:) to free space on this drive by deleting unnecessary files click (w)here.
It is recommended that you not remove these files unless you always have ready accesses to your original media.

2008-07-07T19:21:00.004+05:30

And it happened again.

Yup....i went shopping again with the female species above 35. But unlike last time, it was to buy dresses for a 5 yr old girl. Whats the big deal in buying a kid a new dress, it should be easy.

But for a guy who has grown up mostly around chaddi,banians, pants and shirts/tshirts, buying dresses for a 5 yr old girl was quite a thing on a sunday afternoon. I was made to roam some 6 kids shops, saw like some 100 different kinds of "kids clothing" if u can call them. Things such as mini, midi, bloopers, tie ons, frilled frocks, plain frocks, shorts, skirts, wrap ons.....shit...all i knew of women's clothing were those silk,lace and leather stuff and nothing more.....!!! The best part was when mother india said "this skirt is too short". I mean, what is there to reveal or hide in a 5yr old kid...!!! And i also learned that there were 2 types of pink. The baby pink and the non baby pink. Did u know that..!?? Baby pink is supposed to be lighter and supposed to be like innocent and all and the other pink is supposed to mean something i don't-need-to-know.
We finally walked out of 6 shops with 3 dresses which i did not know names of. And i found out that a 5yr old kid's dress costs more than a pair of levis jeans....!!!

P.S. Y do i keep doing the same mistake over and over again and never learn...!??
P.S.2 what does the other pink mean...!??
P.S.3 Should i learn more about female/kid dresses and will it help me in my future "endeavors"..!??

2008-07-01T21:19:00.003+05:30

Rickety buses, 30km cycle rides, drunk co passengers and more.
Back from a trip to hampi, badami, pattadkal, aihole and bijapur. 3 schoolmates, some fathers money to burn, and a whole lot of time to spare.Deciding all of a sudden to go to these places, we pack our bags and set off.
Thanks to the wonderful state transport system, the semi delux bus we had booked got canceled and we had to travel in a rickety, dirty and no-leg-space bus. Being in a great rush, i get out of the auto, take 2 bananas and dash for the waiting bus, only to trip on some wire and fall down..!! but thankfully i fall on my hands with bananas in them and don't hurt myself. In turn i get a sort of banana split-wide-open on my hands...!!
Ok, the bus starts and after an hour, a drunk gets in. The best part is he comes and sits in the front of us. And when the conductor asks him where is he headed, he does not know, and he blames the conductor for trying to con a drunk man....!!! Finally he gets down after he is sober and he realizes he is 2 towns away from where he originally intended to get down. The bus stops at a road side dhaba, and I, looking at the state of the dhaba, order only a single roti and my frnds say they are not hungry. After tasting it, we order 5 more and they were the best damn rotis we ever had....!!!! (and i had the least
We finally reach hampi at around 7.30 in the morning, book a room, have something and try to figure out the best modes of transportation. Being the engineers we are, and also being the environmentalists we are, we finally decide the best way is to cycle around the city with a guide book in our hand... little did we know that the city of ruins spanned 30kms and after cycling through it, we felt physically ruined...!!
The next day, we covered pattadkal and the rest very sanely in auto's and buses.On the last day we decided to see as much of bijapur as possible and take the last bus back home. As soon as we landed in bijapur, a tonga (a horse drawn carriage) fellow pounced on us and promised us to show everything thats is there to be seen in the city as soon as possible. (provided we spend only 10mins in each place that is..!! )
The "environmentalist" in the 3 of us came back to life again and we decided to go in the tonga. We spent a whole lot of time in the whispering chamber of the gol gumbuz whispering to each other from one corner to another like "couples" and wasted our time. We finally could cover only 3 places in bijapur and were back on time to catch the bus back home.
Thanks to the cycling, and the bus and tonga rides, we are yet to recover from aches in not-be-mentioned places and i am broke with exactly 90rs in my pocket..!! :(

2008-06-17T22:17:00.003+05:30

One thing I always did not get and women i would love to eat with

When i was in school and quite young, we were told not to spit on the roads as " if u spit on the roads, insects will sit on them and those insects will sit on ur food and u will fall sick"
I always wondered as to how insects knew that I was the one who spat...??how would those insects know where to find me and come and sit on my food....!! I mean i always wondered if insects had radars or something and they knew who spat and whose food they should go and sit on...!!!
I realized what my teachers meant after a looooooooooong time...!!
And.......

2008-06-11T09:47:00.002+05:30

Ok.....Here it is.
For people who did not know, I got a job around 10 days back and a person asked me as to y i did not blog about it.Hence this post.
Just to make sure every1 knows it, I am like the lastest person in the "institute" to get a job on campus. No...really. The interview was never as to what i expected it to be and i myself was quite surprised as to y those company people selected me...!!
After fretting about not being jobless for nearly more than a year, getting a job made me feel weird in a funny sort of way....!!! After watching most of my friends and classmates jump up in joy and have tears of happiness in their eyes after getting a job, i thought the same thing would happened to me. I saw them going to temples and pray for their good fortunes and thought i would do the same. I saw them distributing sweets and throwing parties and i thought i would do the same.
Well......nothing of that sort ever happened. I donno y but neither did i jump with joy nor have tears of happiness in my eyes. I had always imagined that i would feel on top of the world after getting a job. Nothing like that happened. I felt the same way as i felt when i had been jobless. I did not feel like throwing a party nor distributing sweets. I just.....did not feel anything..not even relief..........!!!!
People around me congratulated me....and some of their congrats surprised me cause i never expected them to do so.....I was both surprised and happy by them calling and congratulating me.....And....that was it......Four years of mechanized institutionalization has done things to me....!!! I felt no joy, no nothing after getting my first job and well.......thats how i have turned out to be after 4 years......Maybe because i feel i did not earn this job, maybe because i think i do not fit the job, maybe i am greedy for more....maybe.............??

2008-06-05T21:39:00.006+05:30

Did u know...!??
Did u know that today was world environment day...!?? huh..did any one of u know it...!?? Well..i knew it and did a LOT to the environment..no really....
I was threatened, forced and ordered to go to the "institute" for a "program". Little did I know that it was a Tree planting program...!!! Can u believe it...?? a tree planting program when at this age I fantasize about planting seeds...!!!!! [:P] chaaaay...life isn't fair....!!!!

Fine...after spending some "quality" time with my projekt mates talking about my job prospects, we are served tea, badam milk and a FULL PACKET of PARLE-G...I mean...A FULL PACKET...!! so instead of planting saplings and watering them, we happily eat those parle G's. And please to note that my projekt mates choose badam milk over tea. So all of them dipped their biscuits into MY tea. Like just imagine 4 biscuits being dipped at the same time into 1 single paper cup of tea. Yeah....thats what happened and it was quite yucky...with drops of tea falling from 4 biscuits into the tea cup and all...and its a different thing that i finished the tea though...

After the wonderful Tea-Bang we were asked to explain things about solar cookers to school kids..... Just imagine explaining solar cookers to some 10 yr old kids who are happily gorging on parle-g biscuits. The rest of my projekt mates wonderfully escaped and i was asked to the "honors". Believe me...teaching school kids is a pain in the rear end...and teaching their teachers is a bigger pain at at the other end...!! A teacher from one of the schools started asking me questions about the cooker.....I was like...WTF...!!!?? My own HOD did not ask me any question till now on our projekt and a school teacher asks me questions which I cannot answer...!!
Finally the school kids and their teacher go away and I am left alone.
And while I was standing in the sun and explaining stuff to kids....one of my projekt mate was happily drinking mango juice at some1 else's expense.And I was promised there would be lunch and there wasn't any.......and i had to fill my stomach drinking sweet lassi which taster sour... :(

Now u recognize the environmentalist in me...!??? do u...?? do u...!?!??
Now what did you do to save the environment and make the world a better place...!??

2008-05-26T21:56:00.004+05:30

The Bicycle Thief.
No.... I have not watched this supposedly award winning movie. Its really about a bicycle thief. Brother india's cycle went missing 2 days back. It was in the portico at 5.30, and at 6 it disappeared...And as always, I was the one who was blamed for it......!!!! It seems I did not take enough care and keep the cycle inside the house, and so because of me, some1 took the bicycle...!!!
So after all the finger pointing and shouting, yours truly sherlock holmes started deep thinking as to who can steal a cycle at 5.30 in the evening. After some deep thinking (without pipe in my mouth though) i suspected our local dhobhi....!!!
The next day we ask him has he seen our cycle and he says no. After constant bickering by brother india, mother india goes to your friendly neighborhood detective, who incidentally is an auto driver by day and sherlock holmes by night. The only reason he makes such a good detective by night is that he blends so very nicely into the night thanks to his wonderful complexion...!!! After 2 days he comes home telling that the dhobi is the one and he has the cycle. And finally we get back the bicycle in the same condition it was before. And your friendly neighborhood detective charges 250rs as his Fee........!!!!
And now we don't have a dhobi, all my clothes are un-ironed, and no other dhobi is willing to come and take the clothes out fear that even he might be blamed if anything else goes missing.....!!!

2008-05-04T14:58:00.003+05:30

The stupidity and lameness of shopping with the female species above 35.
Life is not fair for people like me.Really,it ain't fair...!! 4 specimens from the female species above 35 promise to take me to eat out and end up taking me to westside so that they can buy over sized kurtas which fit them.I realize i am taken there only to act as a watchman cause its relatively late in the night.I am just supposed to stand there and try not to stare at the lingerie section nor at other prospective female "customers".
30 minutes into the shopping and i am still trying not to stare at anything, and out of the blue a girl from school sees me seeing something very in-appropriate and comes over to talk to me. We catch up on some old shit and she asks me with whom have i come. I try to think of something convincing and mother india walks up to her and starts talking. She again asks me with whom have i come and finally tell her. She laughs a laugh which means a lot of things. I tell her to continue her shopping and sit quietly near the billing section.
30 more minutes and the girl from school comes to the billing section, pays the bill, sees me seeing something very in-appropriate, smiles a smile which means a lot of things and goes out.
30 more minutes and the specimens from the female species above 35 finally, finally finish buying clothes which fit them and walk out.
I come home, eat curd rice and sleep. *SIGH*
And i still cant comprehend what the girl from school's laugh or smile meant.*SIGH*
P.S. The girl from school had come to shop alone in westside...can any1 tell me why any girl goes shopping alone....???

2008-04-12T22:14:00.003+05:30

What a welding rod does to u at 12 in the night...
A collegiate fest in a very mediocre "institute". 4 people who we will call fat, fatter, dark and darkest. Dark and darkest want to participate in an event called "junkyard wars"-where in u get some scrap and construct something out of it.(4yrs of mechanized mechanical engineering and we thought we must have learn't something..!! ). Darkest spends his precious talk time and calls up fat and fatter and somehow all the 4 pool in 200rs as the entry fee and write the preliminary round. By some great miracle and some luck, the 4 ppl get selected along with 5 other teams and are given a task of designing a trebuchet. (dark did not what it meant until he saw some pics).Fat and darkest were sent to the junkyard to find some junk. Dark went home to have a cup of coffee and sleep and fatter went god-knows-where.

Every thing is set, its 8pm and fat,fatter,dark,darkest finally start out to build the trebuchet. The only problem being, dark has no clue how to start, fat is bothered abt the food, fatter and darkest argue whose design is the best.Finally they decide upon a design and they start to cut,weld,drill and mend the scarp.

About 3hrs into the "build", nothing is done except having dinner and testing out the welding machine and there enters Mr.NAMA (for ppl who donno what a nama is, its a sort of a horizontal thilak) Mr.NAMA very closely resembles borat in his pubescence . Mr.NAMA has design which dark can't comprehend and neither can darkest. Due to chance/fate/luck or some unfathomable reason, Mr.NAMA gets his hands on a welding machine.....And it began....the greatest "fuse"ing of metals mankind has ever seen..the greatest spectacle in the "institute"...Mr.NAMA and his "FUSEINGS".

10pm-Lo sishya, a swingarm thogond baaro, weld maadona... (hey dude get that swing arm, we will weld it..)

11pm-lo sishya, ee weld alli yeno problem ide..ond lap joint haaki, aa kade ond butt joint haakbidona... aamele ond tee joint haakbittre....ammele corner joint haakoke easy aagbidutthe..!! (hey dude...there is a problem in this joint..we will put 1 lap joint adn 1 butt joint, later 1 tee joint and corner joint will be easy)

12am- lo sishya, there is some problem with this welding rod, go and get a 12 gauge rod da.
(i swear i can't comprehend y all Naama's have a fad of switching over to english suddenly)

1am-lo sishya, nodamma....ee swing arm na hing turn maadona.....aamele payload na alli attach maadona..after that, i will weld the bed, aaamele aa pivot na haakbittu bittre...ball hoogbidutthe...(i cant translate this, believe me..!!)

1.30am- Fat,fatter,dark and darkest are almost done and are waiting for the welding machine to be free so that they can finish up and go home.They ask Mr.Nama to allow them to use the machine, "waa....naan yen illi tamashi maadthiddna...naan inna weld maadbeeeku," (waa am i playing here, i still have to weld here)

2am-fat,fatter,dark and darkest somehow complete the task.....plan to go home and then...Mr.nama "lo sishya, 200rs entry fee kottidakku....300rs welding kalthe ma naanu"
(dude...even if we payed 200rs as the entry fee, we have learned 300rs worth welding"

the next day morning 10am when the trebuchet's are being testing.
The judge who is 4 feet tall is asking questions to Mr.NAMA
"tel me ur design i sayyyyyyy......what did u do i sayyyyyyy.....what was the problem given to u i sayyyyyy.....tell fast i sayyyyyy"
"sir, we actually brought MS steel and GI steel as we did not find CI iron. The problem was we did not find the proper material so we calcualted a factor of safety of 2, we calculated that the payload has to 5 kgs for the projectile to go 60 feet, so we calculated the length of the swing arm needed and the fatigue strength required and the wear involved. Due to this we could get a air of around 45 feet and the spring constant K was directly proportional to the constant and the wear resistance..........
Listening to this fat, fatter, dark and darkest went home to recheck their previous marks cards to make sure they had officially passed.
Mr.Nama's team were asked to test their designs. The ball was thrown only so far as the length of Mr.Nama's nama. Fat,fatter dark and darkest were asked to test their design.The ball went flying more than 60 feet, and fat,fatter, dark and darkest were eventually declared winners.

And Mr.Nama is still trying to figure out the difference between a tee joint and his Nama...

2008-03-29T10:12:00.003+05:30

Chaddi, banian and a broken arm.......
I don't even remember the last some1 helped me put my chaddi and banian. It must have been some 12 years ago when i was a kid (physically), not bothered about the brands of chaddi and banian i wore and not bothered who helped me into them.
But at 21, helping a 12 year old kid getting into chaddi banian is.....well...not a task to look forward to on saturday morning..!! Brother india has broken his arm.... every1 in the district is all "ayoo papa ayoo papa" towards him. Ok, breaking ur arm in the summer holls is not quite exciting...but hey...that doesn't mean every1 shoud go "ayoo papa" ALL the time...!!! Whats the big deal in wearing your own chaddi banian....its not fair...!!!! at an age when i fantasize about undressing other people....here i am, on a saturday morning, chaddi banaining a 12 year old.....!! its not fair...its not fair...its not fair....!!!

2008-03-09T21:22:00.003+05:30

How exciting.........!!!
2.30 on a hot afternoon....three 21 year olds are pushed, coaxed and begged to be judges for a debate competition. Most of the "debaters" are a year or 2 younger, one guy is older, arrogant, assholic and taller than the 3 of us. One guy very aptly talks before the debate starts stating that all the 3 are as dumb as the contestants and have been made judges as the organizers did not find any one suitable enough. On girl in pink hands out a rose in a tray to me and one more guy (how romaaaantic no....handing out a pink rose on a tray) and says "I am from the hospitality committee,welcome ". We say " no no " but realizing later that this may be the only time ever a girl gives people like us a pink rose (on a tray or not),we accept it and keep it in our shirt pockets.(to show off to the rest of the "institute").
The debate starts, (I am still smelling the rose to make sure it is real) The first topic is "veg versus non veg"(c.....i told u it was exciting.) and then....they continued..."sania mirza is all hype" "fat people are rude" "indians are rude" "sachin deserves the bharat rathna" "cricketers are paid more" (i am still smelling the rose)....one girl speaks some sense on a topic i forgot. one guy speaks sense on a topic i again forgot....finally there is a tie between the girl and the guy. I wanted the girl to win as it was international womens day that day, my friends voted for the guy as he was good looking (and mostly gay).
Finally the guy won. (claps claps) and I got a treat from him saying that it was i who made him win. See how exciting my life is..!?!??
P.S. I did not find any1 to whom i could give that rose to. So i gave it to a 1 year old girl child and she gave it back to me....how exciting no..my first rose giving and my rose getting..!!??

2008-02-25T22:00:00.003+05:30

In(the)difference.....
I did not care if he ever passed his exams. I did not care whether he came to the class. He was just one of those guys who u always miss to notice in a crowd. His opinions hardly mattered to me. Had been with him for more than 3 years and had hardly noticed him. The occasional hand shake, the infrequent drops to the nearest main road on my motorbike, scolding the pakis for defeating us in cricket. Our conversation was limited to such banal stuff which one does not remember nor needs to forget.
It took one game of amateurish football
One frugal goal scored by 2 amateur "footballers"....... one goal scored of 2 pairs of tired and bruised legs......one goal scored by a fluke pass....one goal scored by 2 people who hardly ever thought of each other's existence....
The celebrations....the hi-fi's.....the bear hugs......the smiles...... the congratulatory handshakes..... talking about that one goal which every1 forgot days after it was scored......
We still talk about banal stuff....we still scold paki's if they defeat us.... we still have those occasional handshakes....those infrequent drops i give him on my motorbike... i still don't remember the conversations i have with him.....but there are somethings i don't forget.... i see a twinkle in those eyes when he laughs now......and.....the handshake seems to last a tad bit longer.....

P.S. thanks to sushruth for the title.....(this was the smallest font size i got.....!! :P :P )

2008-02-15T13:05:00.009+05:30

PRO-JEKT (for some reason i like 'K' more than 'C' )-3
Ok....for the first timer.....here are the prequels. This and This.
It had to happen. It had to.... We finally started the porjekt. Nothing surprising about it as every1 supposedly has. The only problem for us being....there is suddenly a new clause in the projekt.....we have to fabricate a new solar cooker. For a group of 4 highly enlightened, energetic, eccentric, enraged and endangered individuals who can only fabricate lies and half truths.....fabricating a solar cooker is proving to be quite a task. And to add all this.....the sun god isn't helping as well. Whenever it's sunny....we are gloomy...when ever we are sunny.....he is gloomy...... and oh...did i mention there already exists a cooker which we have to work on...!?? We have supposedly cooked rice, dal and potatoes in that cooker.(apparently everything was fed to the cows in front of the "institute").
For the curious, we are planning to build a PARABOLIC type cooker....(as a tribute to the projekt c0- guides stomach ...) We supposedly had an INTERACTION with german delegates on non-conventional energy.....(which lasted exactly 10 mins, and was quite without any energy and non-conventional....).and i am writing this on a day when we are supposed to be working on the projekt.........

The Thinker.
Still obsessed with pink floyd, gurucharan das and online quizzing.... He is the only guy who wants to finish off the projekt within the given time. He fails to see the sunny side of life and is suddenly obsessed with cooking up some completely un-answerable-questions-unless-googled on his quizzing website and I-want-to-conduct-a-quiz-in-college. His SHINE ON is the only thing which keeps the projekt going. Otherwise the projekt is D-E-A-D.

The Talker.
This guy is supposedly dieting and has no intention on thinking about the projekt because whenever he thinks of a cooker, it seems he has the urge to eat. In the course of his diet he has supposedly lost 4 kgs in 4 days and has lost an inch...(donno which part of his anatomy is he talking though). He has lost complete track of time and is some what dazed around men of his age. And yeah........he can never make it on time to work on the PROJEKT....he is DIETING u c...

The Smoker.
His ignited mind has been doused.......for reasons unknown to man. He cant walk a mere 200meters because he has pain in his leg, but can play football. He seems to be going through a phase of COLD TURKEY as he says he is cutting down on the cigarettes. Cold turkey or not.....he is now the chicken in the team, acts cocky, and has no intention of completing the projekt on time. Some1 should cut his feathers...some1 really should.

The FUC***
He still is like the most un-interested,un-involved person in the group. He still gives ideas and advice to other people on their projekts. He still hasn't got a job and is hopelessly jobless.He is again broke and has exactly 110rs in his purse this time. He is being forced, blackmailed and pushed into getting a hair cut and a shave. Still has no idea as to what he is gonna do after 4 months.....and has suddenly realised that the PROJEKT is as FUC*** up as he is....
And he still thinks why he doesn't get more than 10 comments on his blog...

P.S. can somebody give ideas so that the projekt can be completed on time..??
P.s.2 i donno whats wrong with the damn fonts....!!! swalpa adjust maadi..!!

2008-02-01T22:14:00.000+05:30

Movie with the girls.
I was always a sucker for indian movie plots and bollywood 1 liners.always was. Those music videos where a boy and girl meet accidentally in a movie theater, those corner seats joke, those touching-touching of hands while popcorn-eating-from-the-same-packet stuff, i was a sucker for those...i really was, until i went to this only first part second time watchable movie with the girls.
As for the girls, they ranged from 31 to 4...with two 18year olds(who got us the tickets) in between. It being the matnee show and half of bengalooru jobless,(i went to a movie with the girls in bengalooru btw) most kannada anorexic girls and kannada sallu bhai boys were there.I made the most of this and grabbed the seat next to a anorexic girl in pink telling the other girls that it was too hot to sit at the other end.(after all, i turned 21 and am officially ready u c). And i was naive enough not to realise that the girls,(including the 4 year old girl) could read my intentions.FINE...i had nothing to hide...even my hormones have to flow somewhere....!!!
The movie starts. After sometime i realise that the 31yr old girl has placed her 4 yr old girl next to me...fine...i have no problem with that..i like that girl a lot....and i have watched the movie already once....fine.
now to the anorexic girl in pink next to me.Before that i have a question...Y DO ALL THEATERS IN BENGALOORU HAVE EXTRA LARGE SIZED SEATS....!??? i mean the seats are so big that the anorexic girl in pink could squat herself nicely and she did not feel the need to place her hands on the support....!!!!!
Ok fine,i get on with the movie...and then comes the interval...I think this is my moment...the anorexic girl has to go past me to go out somewhere....and then...the 4yr old girls says "nikhil anna...nanage hasive...kurkure thankodu..(nikhil,i am hungry..get me kurkure). Me being the model brother for every other person on earth excluding my own brother, i obediently get up and get her the packet of kurkure. And as soon as i come back, the movie begins. *sigh*
Being the decent boy i am, i sit quietly and continue to watch the movie.After 20mins the theater goes completely blank....i mean completely blank..including the screen.... I MEAN.... ASK FOR A BETTER CHANCE THAN THIS.....!! then all of a sudden the 4yr old girl comes into my arms saying..nikhil anna...hedarke aagthide..(nikhil,i am scared)... and....i watched the rest of the movie sitting 5 inches away from the anorexic girl in pink...!!

*i walk out of the theater and see the anorexic girl in pink and one sallu bhai boy drinking 1 tender coconut with 2 straws in it....talk about movies.....sigh..!!!*

2008-01-22T23:11:00.000+05:30

One fine morning......
father- thindi saapidrya ..?? (will u have breakfast..? )
Me- Venda venda...kulchutu saapdre (no no, will have it after bath)
father- appo yella pannikudkurku aardille...yenaku office ku late aachi. (i cant wait till then, i am late for the office...)
Me-sari sari..naane pankure aapru.. (ok ok, i will only do it later)
father- varda dose pankuruku..?? (u know how to make dose..? )
Me-oh vardu ...yenna annidirke yennane..!?? (oh..i know!! what do u think i am..!?)
father-yenmaana panko po, naa vare.. (do what u want, me leaving)
Me-sari, tata..

After an hour, i call up mother who is not in town and has the not-in-town accent to her voice on the phone.
Me-hello amma, dose henge maadkollodu..?? (hello amma, how do i make dose..?? )
mother- (in her out-of-town accent) ashtu gothillva, thava kaayakke idu, ond 5 nimisha kaayi, aamele dose haaku. (donno that much also, keep the thava on the flame, wait for 5mins, and make the dose..)
Me-sari, haaki aadamele, yesht hottu bidabeeku?? (how long shud i wait after that.?? )
mother-ayioooooooo, noodko, dose yeddre aagide antha, golden brown colour irabeeku. (ayiiooooo, see if the dose gets up, it should be golden brown)
Me-ond dose ge yesht hittu haakabeeku..?? (how much dough shud i use for 1 dose..?? )
mother-neene nodkond haakappa.. (u only c and put man..!!)
Me-oh...ok ok...chutney illva..?? (ok ok, no chutney..?)
mother-(in her out-of-town accent) adella nanage gothilla, yeno maadkond thinnu...dose aaglilla andre noodles maadko...!! (i donno abt al that, if not dose, make noodles and eat..)
Me-noodles a..?? bellag belaage heng thinlli...?? chutney ilva..!!?? (noodles a..?? how do i eat it morning morning...?? no cutney..?? )
mother-(in her out-of-town accent, but a lil louder)-yesht sarthi helodu, chtney illa, yeenara adjust maadkond thinnu, bye.(how many times to tell no chutney, adjust and eat something..)
Me-thumba thanks, bye

and.....after 21 years of existence, i try to make my own breakfast, and try to digest it.
stage 1- keep the tava on the flame and wait for 5 mins. That is easy.

stage 2. pour the dough and wait for it to turn golden brown-ok..how brown is golden or how golden brown..?? Think of calling up mother again, but, the colour of the dose gets the better of me....... i put the dough on the tava, and make a sort of a circle.(After that i understood why i was thought free hand drawing in school).

stage3- insert the dose removal thing under the dose and wait for it to get up-ok, this was quite easy....but the problem is, the dose seems to get up only in a few places..*damn*

stage4-turn up the dose and put it on the tava once again-and i burn my fingers doing that.

stage5-put it on a plate, eat it with either chutney or adjust with whatever u have-and i had to adjust with whatevre-i-have (whatever that is..)

stage6-try, try and u will succeed.

The first one- (this proves y i almost flunked in machine drawing) the 2nd one-i tried, i really did

see, see...i told u i was trying...i almost got a perfect circle..!!!! see.... see..!??
finally, i had to adjust with whatever-i-have...... :( :( :(

PS-i could only digest 2 of my own dose's..(one of them was too thick for my liking..)
PS2-never eat a dose without chutney....!!!

2008-01-17T20:16:00.000+05:30

It was a crowded place, people were in a hurry, they were there to curb that one craving no one could control-hunger. He was waiting for his turn to get his rice plate and gobble it up as fast as he could. He hated eating that same rice everyday for the past 6 months. He hated everything about that place. He hated himself for going to the same place everyday and eating the same rice for the same 10 rupees he could afford. He was tired, he was confused, he was hungry.
It took him 5 minutes to get his rice plate and find a clean place to sit. He grunted in disgust. He knew he deserved more, he knew he was capable of more. He was waiting, he was waiting for something to happen not knowing what it was. But he was waiting.
And then she came, with her hair let loose, arm in arm with her male companion, her chin tilted, a smile that was suggestive of many things. She sat in the table in front of him while her male companion went to get the food.
He looked up, and their eyes met. He did not think much of her, he was more involved in trying to digest his food. Something in her eyes made him want to look at her again. She was still staring at him. He stopped eating for a minute. Neither of them blinked. He was confused, was curious, was hungry, was nervous. He kept staring at her, and she at him. It was as if she wanted to tell him something but he could not understand her language. Another minute passed before her male companion bought her her rice plate.
The next morsel he took was his most delicious ever....

2008-01-11T12:26:00.000+05:30

My city, My town
21 years, a million moments, a few dreams, 1 man, 1 place-My city, My town-Mysore.

My city
*Where weekends consisted of sitting on the palace lawn, eating roasted groundnuts and waiting for the lights to go on exactly at 6.30
*Where you haggled with the local "villedele" (beetle leaf) lady on deveraja market so that u get a few more beetle leaves for the 1 rupee u paid.
*Where you accompanied your grand mother to deveraja market when she went shopping for raw mangoes, ginger and lemons to prepare the yearly "uppinakay" (pickle) only because she would get u your favorite "jeerige peppermint" (cumin seeds coated with sugar)
*Where diwali consisted of waiting for your father's friend to get loads of crackers for a few hundred rupees because he had put a 'chit' for crackers in his factory.Where you waited for your father's boss to give you bengali sweets from bombay tiffanies.
*Where you waited eagerly on the 5th of every month for the boy from the "nair" angadi(store) to get the monthly groceries to see if your mother has ordered that costly packet of "bour-bon" biscuit.
*Where you came back hungry from school and begged your mother to give you 6 rupees to buy a potato bun and a honey cake from that iyengaari bakery.
*Where every april or may you went to mannar's market to buy note books for school at wholesale prices and text books at landsdown building or aparna book house.
*Where summer holidays consisted of playing cricket from 10 in the morning to 7 in the evening.
*Where DASARA holidays consisted of going to flower show, the exhibition, and playing cricket from 10 in the morning to 7 in the evening.
*Where a trip to the chamundi hills was never complete without a masala dose, a single idly, 1 jamoon, 1 kesari bath and 1 cup of filter coffee.
*Where monthly copies of tinkle, archies or a copy of amar chitra katha was bought at geeta book house (if u could afford it) or waited for it to arrive at your local librarian.
*Where boys like me hated their mothers for forcing us to go yell beerufying at sankranthi because there was no girl in the house.
*Where jayciyana was a religion and you dreamed all your life to get into SJCE.
*Where your hero ranger was your most priced possession after that tennis ball and that light weight bat.
*Where having a computer a VCR and a colour tv with a cable connection at home made you the richest man in the street.
*Where cycling to chamundi hills during sundays was your biggest achievement.
*Where javagal srinath was a hero.
*Where hitting the road meant you went out somewhere.
*And where if someone asked you "which school are you studying in?" u said "St.Joeseph's............Central not state".

My town.
*Where weekends consist of waiting from 6.30 on the lawns on planet x eating defrosted french fries and waiting for your turn at the bowling alley.
*Where 'Reliance fresh' gives you beetle leaf 2 paise lesser that the villedele lady.
*Where you accompany your grand mother to a shop in deveraja market to get her monthly dose of medicines.
*Where diwali consists of exchanging bengali sweets from bombay tiffanies and not bursting crackers because you are suddenly "environment conscious"
*Where you buy wafers and biscuits over the counter at FAB-CITY.
*Where you come back from school and make MAGGI noodles.
*Where every april or may you go to ALPHA BOOK STORES to buy the prescribed note books and text books.
*Where summer holidays consist of playing play-station from 10 in the morning to 7 in the evening.
*Where DASARA holidays consist of going off to banglore.
*Where a trip to the chamundi hills is still never complete without a masala dose, a single idly, 1 jamoon, 1 kesari bath and 1 cup of filter coffee.
*Where you go to the local CD shop to get the monthly copy of Need for speed or NBA 2008 or GTA.
*Where boys like me still hat their mothers for forcing us to go yell beerufying at sankranthi because there is no girl in the house.
*Where jayciyana is still a religion but you get into a shit hole of a college which has uniforms and dress codes and where a FEST(pest) gets over at 7.30pm.
*Where the other guy's cycle has 3 more gears than your cycle.
*Where you are considered a retard if u dont have a mobile and a computer.
*Where only poor people cycle to chamundi hills. People like "us" go with our parents.
*Where javagal srinath is still a hero.
*Where hitting the road means you are going to that latest disco tech.
*And where if someone asks you "which school are you studying in?" u STILL say, "St.Joeseph's............Central not state".

2008-01-03T20:44:00.000+05:30

DRIP DRIP.....

Thanks to NAMMA VTU..... i should write the HEAT AND MASS TRANSFER exam once again on god-knows-when day.....
Thanks to some very ENTER-PRICING (the damn paper was priced very high btw...) students of the university, the paper was leaked and the fools did it so openly that the university came to know about it...!!! Talk about MASS transfer....!! thanks to those fools, masses like me have to wait till god-knows-when to finish their exams when every other engineering student in all other different branches can party on. And to top it all, I...I did not get the paper...!!! (its a different story that i would have flunked anyways...that paper was supposedly very tough...but still.... people think i have contacts....!! :P) And to top it all, every other paper of every other branch was leaked (drip drip) and only our exam was canceled......!!!

P.S. cartoon mine only....what u ppls thought...huh..!??
P.S.2. dayavittu pray that the exam on god-knows-when day be easy and i pass...!!!!

2007-12-31T10:11:00.000+05:30

Things that should never happen to u during the last week of december......
1.Write back to-back to -back exams, that too one in the morning and the other one in the afternoon...

2. Sit at home and blog abt nonsensical things when ur family in partying in goa.

3. Just stare at the bottles of old monk, 6 flavours of smirnoff, the coconut Fenny , 2 bottles VAT 69 and the goan wine that ur father brings back from goa and not show any signs of interest on ur face...

4. Try to be happy after getting ONE MORE, ONE MORE..!! SOOOOO come-ya go-ya ish goa t-shirt with all those dolphins and coconut tress that fade away after the first wash.

5. Get constipated after eating half a KG of goan cashew...

6. And finally try to digest HYDRAULICS AND PNEUMATICS on the new years eve when the rest of the world is drowning in all kinds of fluids........
chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy...............!!!!

2007-12-24T13:55:00.000+05:30

To B or not to B B-schooled...??
Yesterday night i get this forward....
ECONOMICS TEACHER-"give me an example of a complete business failure due to negligence.."
Santa-A PREGNANT PROSTITUTE...

U c....as most final year engineering students are BIG B-school aspirants..... me also being officially in the final year...thought of aspiring to get into a B-school.So, i thought about the joke in a very B-SCHOOL ASPIRANTISH way.(its a different story altogether that i did not take up the CAT...and ironically my mother teaches MBA aspirants....ad bere vishya bidi..)
Now say, the teacher asks santa for an explanation.....In the typical B-school way(not the blazer wearing, laptop carrying, come YA go YA way).As i cant put up a power point presentation on a blog u c, so...

*What is the CORE COMPETENCY of this Business...??
Utility-Utility theory explains consumer tastes and preferences. Consumers purchase those things that give them satisfaction or utility. As a consumer consumes more of any one product, other goods and services look more desirable. As one consumes more of a product, smaller and smaller increments of pleasure or satisfaction come from it. The law of diminishing marginal utility underlies the law of demand.

*How do u define this BUSINESS..??
This business is a Joint float-An arrangement by which a group of currencies(people) maintain a fixed relationship relative to each other, but move jointly relative to another currency(people) in response to supply and demand conditions in the market.

*What are the Worst Case Scenarios present..??
dirty float-A type of floating exchange rate that is not completely freely floating because central banks(read pimps and madams) intervene from time to time to alter the rate from its free-market level. It is still a floating rate because it has not been pegged at a predetermined par value.

*What is the Driving force in this business..??
To monetize-To convert assets into money

*What is the greatest threat and what may be its outcome..???
Multilateralism-An international policy intended to free international trade from the restrictions of bilateralism. Multilateralism represents an effort to permit nations(people) to specialize in production and exchange in accordance with the principle of comparative advantage.
*Multulateralism leads to-
*moral hazard-The risk that a party to a transaction has not entered into a contract in good faith, has provided misleading information about its(her) assets, liabilities, or capacity, or has an incentive to take unusual risks in a desperate attempt to earn a profit before the contract settles.

What are the outcomes of the business failure...??
A pregnant prostitute goes thru INFLATION-both physically and physiologicaly.So, as in all businesses, she has her CYCLE of inflation and deflation
frictional unemployment-Short-term joblessness associated with mobility.(Literally...!!)

*What can be done to find out the DEFAULTER...??
Check credit history (A record of how a person has borrowed and repaid debt.)

*What happens to the business..??
Recession-A significant decline in general economic activity extending over a period of time.

*How do u overcome these failures and what are the options during the failure period..??
Learn from mistakes.Always sing relevant songs(yeh kya huan....kab hua..kyun hua..?? remember the ad..?)
Options during failure period- BLOW away your problems and TURN AROUND your failures into success...!!

P.S. dear "readers", please tell will i be a good b-schooler...??
P.S.2 to whom so ever it may concern...thumbaaaa thanks for the message...i know u will read this post someday and go pink and will never ever send me anymore forwards...!!
P.S.3 For the curious, all the above mentioned terms are got from here. Please do not think that i knew all these terms before...!!

2007-12-20T12:25:00.001+05:30

Y VIVA...!??
It was the last lab exam of my engineered engineering(hopefully... i think i will get thru). Had mugged up the formulas, the tabular coloumns and all the other shit. Exam was at 10 in the morning....i go to college at 9, people are furiously revising, re-revising, re-re-revising. I go to a relatively so called "AVERAGE" guy and ask him "oodidya?" (have u studied?). He says "ok ok, parvaagilla ".I ask him for his record book as i hardly have written anything in mine. I glance thru it, and suddenly I find 4 formulas which i never knew existed. Somehow i manage to mug those formulas as well. Its time.. I pray that i somehow get a very easy experiment and i pass.
The exam starts at 10.30, I get 2 decent experiments. I try and complete them. Its finally time for my VIVA (a sort of a ORAL test sort of a shit). I go and sit in front of the external examiner with my most innocent and childish posture.And, it starts off....my most humiliating VIVA ever..

Extern-yenappa nin hesaru? (whats ur name?)
me-nikhil sir
Extern-hometown?
Me-Mysooru only sir..
Extern-hmm....appa yen kelsa madthare? (where does ur father work?)
me- HR in some factory sir..
Extern- Nodidya avara factory? (have u seen his factory?)
me- yes sir.

Extern-hmm....logarithmic decrement andre yenu..?? (what is logrithmic decrement?)
me-hmm...hmm....(smile).. donn..gothilla sir..
Extern- adara graph bari nodona... ( write its graph)
me- hmm....(draw 2 lines....stop..) sir logarithmic decrement means the logarithmic ratio of 2 successive amplitudes sir..
Extern- (nodding his head)gothalla....now write the graph..
me- donno sir...(again smile)
Extern-Vibrations passa..???
Me-(shaking shaking head) hun sir passss....

Extern-appa gaadi tekotidaraa..? (father got u a vehicle??)
me-yes sir
Extern-yaavdu? (which?)
me-Yamaha
Extern- (cynically smiling) dina adralli joooom antha barthya..?? (everyday coming fast on that)
me-yeno barthini sir. ( i somehow come sir)
Extern- mane yelli...yesht doora illinda? (where is ur house and how far is it from here??)
me- in vijaynagar sir, arnd 20-21 kms to and fro..
Extern- ashtdoordinda bandu yen maadthay college alli..? (coming from so far what u do in coll?)
me-(looking at my answer sheet) hmm...hmmmm.. (smile smile)
Extern-placement aaitha..
me-illa sir
Extern-hmmm..... ninna experiment alli a fringe formation ge yeen anthare....??
me-fringes are formed due to stresses acting because of the load sir.
Extern- I know that.... what are the formations called.
Me- Fringes sir.
Extern- oodidya...?? (studied??)
Me- illa sir.' (no sir)
Extern-yenu gothilavallao....fail maadla..?? (u donno anything...shall i fail u??)
me-(smile smile smile)

Extern-nimma appanige hela neenu yenu oodolla bari beedi sutthya anthya...?? (shall i tell ur father that u dont study and only loaf around?)
Me-(smile smile) beda sir. (no sir)
Extern-what are the different types of governors...??
Me- gothilla sir. (donno sir)
Extern-y are governors used.?
Me-for speed control sir.
Extern-how they control speed..??
Me-donno sir..
Extern-ninage yeenu gothilla.....thats y u still not placed...sari now hoogu...
Me-thanku sir...

*runs away before the internal examiner asks anything*
*the attender asks for my record....like a fool i give it to him....later i realize that MY record will be used as a reference for the juniors...god save them....*

2007-12-18T22:58:00.000+05:30

CHALI CHALI THAALENU EE CHALIYA....AHA.....OHO...

Its almost the end of the year and its chali chali in namma mysooru.... Here are some pics I took.
Camera-Fathers Grey Market Sony Ericson k350-I mobile phone VGA camera
Locale- Namma mane garden.
Pics By- Yours truly of course...!!

Colour colour kempu colour ............. and .......................... 2 hibiscus

Nee mudida mallige hoovina maale......... and.......... Nee mudida mallige hoovina maale..2

Bed of JASMIIIIINE FLOWEEERS.........and...........NO NAME FLOWWWER BUNCH...

NO NAME SMALL SMALL FLOWWWERS.. .....and.......BUDDING 2 BUDS.....

2007-12-14T22:41:00.000+05:30

ROOTS
You don't have to be American to appreciate this.....!!
This is one book which every1 should to read to realise what upbringing gives us, what our culture teaches us, and what we teach others. I got a original paper back edition for 80rs on the roadside...!! Any1 wants it I will be glad to lend it to him/her, provided, I get it back safely...!!

2007-12-11T20:40:00.000+05:30

It had been more than a week....I had blatantly ignored her, had not even gone near her. She was standing there as always, gentle yet commanding, slim yet powerful. She was standing there.... I went near her, she was not disturbed by my presence, I rather felt that she was expecting me. I stood there looking at her for a minute, soaking in the feeling of being beside her..... then... I touched her.... I almost shivered.... it was too much for me.... 1 week was too long a time for any man....let alone me..... in the blink of an eye I was on top of her..... She was a little nervous in the beginning, a little unwilling to react... slowly she was coming to life.... I was coming to life as well.....this was it.... 1 week was too long......SHIT.... I had forgotten my protection...!!! I rushed back...put it on and was on top her of again... this time she was alive and kicking....we rode along comparatively slowly after the start... then we rode on faster...and faster.... I felt her shuddering under my legs.... I had reached the limit...I had to let go..... this was it..... this was it.....

I let go of the accelerator and slowly me and my bike decelerated.....
Thats the pleasure of riding a 2 stroke 4 speed RX135...An RX-er for LIFE.......
And WHAT WERE YOU SICKOS THINKING...!!!!???????? I may have turned 21 yesterday, but that does'nt mean I misuse my fundamental rights.....!!!!!

P.S. The pic is of some other bike......my bike also is the same colour and make....it only needs a paint job and a change of clutch plates....can some1 sponsor them to me...!??

P.S.2. For ppl who wished me on my birthday, thank u...!! for ppl who did not wish me...THUMBA THANKS....!!!!

P.S.3 I will be very happy to take any1 on a ride on my RX...(will be happier if it is a person of the opposite sex..!! :D )

2007-12-07T21:03:00.000+05:30

It revealed more than what it hid.....
Just another ride after dropping off my mother to the bus stand. Its 12.45 and unusually hot for a december afternoon. Waiting for the signal to turn green, I see a woman clad in a burka and a hijab walk past me. Fortunately for me or unfortunately for her, the hijab and the burka failed to serve their purpose. The strands of hair fluttered in the dusty wind, her copper coloured hand straightened it out, she adjusted her burka a little, and walked past me,the sway of her hips revealed her feminity which no tube top or low strung jeans could have matched. The light changed from red to green, I was still standing where i was, a shrill horn made me accelerate, I was just in time to catch up with her, I was about to turn and catch a glimpse of her face, and then i realized, why spoil the romance...!???
Did I see her hips sway because i am me, or did she just walk that way...?? Did I see what she wanted me to see, or did I see what I wanted to see...??

I waited for the light to turn green........in another signal, on another day....

2007-12-05T23:02:00.000+05:30

PRO-JEKT (for some reason i like 'K' more than 'C' )-2
Off late as I'm trying to be very bollywoodish, and in trying to keep the tradition alive, here is a sequel or a "part 2" as some might like to call it of my "overtly hyped post".
Little did I know the importance of a projekt and the seriousness of it is settling in now. And i'm still the dumbest of the dumbest in the group, the last one to know about the "new" projekt, and, hate the projekt co-guide because of his wonderfully shaped pot belly. And what are we supposes to do..?? A SOLAR COOKER........sounds exciting for a guy who knows only how to cook maggi.......

The Thinker.
Still obsessed with pink floyd, gurucharan das and led zeplin, this guy gets a brain wave after listening to "crazy diamond" and comes up with the idea of doing something using solar energy.... agreed his name means something very integral in the water cycle, but DUDE......the subject ain't even ur elective...!!!! Who gave u the idea of COOKING UP something using sunlight. No wonder ur favorite sign off thing is SHINE ON....
SHINE ON U CRAZY *&^#*$#*^*^@((*^#

The Talker.
3 more strands of hair on a almost bald man's head does things to him, it really does. The solar cooker is sooooooooooo very interesting to this guy thanks to his immense appetite and immenser interest in food. He still is the second brainiest guy in the group and thanks to him the canteen is in business still even in the holidays.

The Smoker.
The light at the end of his cigarette has ignited his mind (APJ.AK be blessed)......it literally has. He suddenly seems to know more about the projekt than any1 of us and the guy cleared one subject in revals which makes my count 1 less. And for the record, he has stopped selling spice sim cards as he is quite a rich man now........

The FUC***
He still is like the most un-interested,un-involved person in the group. He still gives ideas and advice to other people on their projekts. He still hasn't got a job and is hopelessly jobless.He is again broke and has exactly 90rs in his purse this time. He has a shave every day now for absolutely no reason. He is still the same FUC*** up guy even after he has got a projekt and is slightly interested in it. And he still still still doesn't get more than 10 comments by different people in his blog...!!!

P.S. These are the ramblings of a demented mind and the protagoinsits/readers are told not to view the comments made by this demented mind seriously.....after all the mind is still a 6yr olds....!!

2007-12-02T23:12:00.000+05:30

SALVATION
"Just like the butterfly, I too will awaken in my own time....."
P.S.i am waiting too...!!

2007-11-29T20:10:00.000+05:30

Naanu nanna DARLINGUU (me and my darling)
STOP.......even before u perverts start assuming that I'm gonna put a video of those navel kissing scenes of ravichandran with disco shanti/silk smitha from 90's kannada movies or put up a pic of a girl.....STOP....I am not a pervert like u....

I am talking abt the TV remote... Come to think of it, the remote behaves just like a girl.(its a diff matter altogether that the remote is straight and long and please, u perverts stop getting ideas abt its gender).
U always want the remote when any1 is watching the tv, U always keep fidgeting with the remote, the remote is the main cause for fights within the family, u show all ur frustrations on the remote and throw it around, u wont find the remote when u urgently need it, if the remote doesn't work for a single day, u go insane, the remote stops working when u want to urgently change the channel cause ur mother enters the scene and u don't want her to watch the channel u r watching, u cant possibly live without a remote and.. if the remote is beyond repair....u can always get a new one....!!! The only exception though is that once u can replace old batteries of a remote....but......!!! :)

2007-11-28T22:44:00.000+05:30

DABBA BUGGERS/BUGGERANIS.......
you ppls did not give me good answers to the questions i asked.....and i wasnt even selected for the GD.... che/chay...!!!no one gets the attractive prize and i am not writing any other company till i pass all my exams....
pbhhhhhtttttttttt....

2007-11-24T23:01:00.000+05:30

Ladiessssss and Gentlemens please answer these questions.
These were the questions I was supposed to answer while filling out a form for a company.dayavittu answer maadi please...

*Describe a challenging project or a seemingly impossible task which you have undertaken. What was the outcome? (maximum 500 characters)
I am trying to finish my engineering this year only, whats more challenging than that...!???

*At times, many of us are caught in a situation of moral conflict, where we have to choose between two seemingly right alternatives. Give us one situation when you faced this conflict. How did you resolve it? (maximum 500 characters)
I am supposed to be the most IMMORALISTIC person on earth....how can i answer this..!?

*Sometimes, we may find a group of people disagreeing with our beliefs/point of view. Give us an instance where you had to convince a group of people on your point of view. (maximum 500 characters)
Point of view..AHEM......

last one......i promise..

*Add anything about yourself, which would be helpful by way of amplification or comment. (maximum 200 characters)

People with the most politically correct answers will win ATTRACTIVE PRIZES if i ever get into this company.

2007-11-23T14:22:00.000+05:30

MISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-BHA....
Y do u always keep missing out BA..!? Luck ran u out the other day and u missed finishing the match....and y did u have to do a tap dance today and run ur self out when u had painstakingly scored 82 out of some 239649278364 balls.....!!!!?? :( :( U are 33, time is running out man.....!! Hope u score a century next time.....!!!

LAXMAN....
Show that bastard "some1" his place...

SHOAIB....
As Asif is not there for u to HIT on him, u can try and hit the deck for a change....

Munaf....
Will u promise me u will play the whole series and pass the fitness test each time..!? If u do this, I promise u that I will pass in all my papers this time...!!!

Dear readers, please pray for the above 4 ppl so that we can c a GREAT, and I mean A great test match.
P.S. Also pray for me so that I pass in all my papers this time and not be kicked out of my house....!! PEACE...

2007-11-17T23:09:00.000+05:30

My nose job.
NO....i am not following ambika soni's footsteps and neither do i know what rhinoplasty is.
I have a TERRIBLE cold and my nose looks as if its had kiss from the botoxed lips of rakhi sawant.
My right nostril has increased in diameter by 1/4th of an inch and the other nostril has shrunk in unequal proportions.
I pity my father's hanky ( as i normally don't use one) as it has to bear all my slimey, sticky (sometimes syrupy) mucus. Every 5mins the poor hanky travels deep inside my nose to relive me of my "FLUID "[:P]. My poor pillow acts as a substitute for the hanky and faces the danger of being "STAINED" [:P]
And......NEVER EVER eat a CHEESE BURGER costing 45rs, eat1/2 a plate EXTRA SPICED GOBI MANCHIRI costing 6rs, 200gms ofJELABI without paying for it, 1/2 of jeera rice and 1/2 lota filter coffee with a blocked nose... and go BROKE after that....!!!

P.S. I still have a cold and coldarin/vicks action 500 doesn't seem to work...what do i do..!?

2007-11-12T22:50:00.000+05:30

Those small pleasures

Diwali just ended and the only question everyone asked me was "Did you burst crackers this time??". Most people of my age think that bursting crackers after a certain age is immature and childish.Its quite not upto "their" standards to burst crackers after becoming "Adults". All of a sudden "they" become environmental friendly and start the "I am the next Menaka Gandhi" campaign. "These" people fail to experience the big pleasures hidden in these small things.
Watching a rocket fly high in the sky, throwing a lighted Bbijli cracker in the air and watch it burst, lighting an atom bomb and waiting for it to explode, the feeling of euphoria after hearing a 10000 wala burst, convincing a kid that there is nothing dangerous in bursting a cracker, pestering your parents for more crackers. I could and still can experience humble pleasures from all these small,so called "insignificant" and "childish" things.As for "those" people, they can't even enjoy these humble pleasures even if they want to and search for it,as they are very "mature" and "cultured", unlike me.

2007-11-09T01:09:00.001+05:30

350 reasons as to y I go more insane by the day.

1.I watch "laaga chunari mein daag" in fast forward at 12 in the night.( believe me, there was no chunari and no daag anywhere on it...).It is the next most pathetic movie i've ever watched after "aafrica dalli sheela" and "kaal".All I could comprehend from the movie was:-
* All advertising men drop meyonese on themselves while eating burgers.
* All whores who know hanuman chaalisa end up marrying a man whom they have met in swizerland.
*Konkana Sen Sharma looks pretty in a skirt too.

2. At 21, i get the kicks out of lighting bijli crackers in my hand, throwing them in the air and watch them burst.

3. Its 1.15 in the night and I treat myself to some delicious home made chocolates on hearing that Anil Kumble has been made the next Indian test captain.

4.I am so jobless that I blog at 1.20 in the night.

5. And i've forgotten the remaining 345 reasons as to y I go insaner by the day.
PEACE

2007-11-04T11:35:00.000+05:30

I am a.....
11.30 on a sunday morning and the jobless me takes this test which tells me I am a emo kid. If you are utterly jobless as me, then i suggest you take up the test as well and leave your results on my comments.
P.S. This test proves to the readers that I am not arrogant and rational... [:P].This test also gives you an idea about with whom you can probably get along with.So if I am "THE ONE", please email me at nkaundinya@yahoo.com
THUMBA THANKS.....

Your Score: Emo Kid

You are 0% Rational, 42% Extroverted, 14% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.

You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. (And Jesus almost never pukes, being immortal and not requiring an act of puke to dispell toxins from his corporeal manifestation.) If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being that go something like this:

life is a spike / upon which i have impaled mysefl / fuck you dad

So, your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited. Plus, your poetry really upsets your father.

I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Smartass.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hippie, the Televangelist, and the Starving Artist.

2007-10-25T23:48:00.000+05:30

PRO-JEKT (for some reason i like 'K' more than 'C' )
Ok....so i finally made it "officially" into my final year of engineering.Just when i try and relax the final year of my engineered engineering, suddenly some joker in the class comes up with a brain wave of starting a projekt early in this sem itself....!! Ok...you choose 4 people,form a team and search for a project....sounded simple....as i was like the dumb amongst the dumbest blokes in class...i had little choice, so i join a group of 3 highly enlightened,energetic,eccentric,enraged,endangered,enlightened (ok...i dont know any more adjectives starting from E) individuals and the 4 of us start looking for a new projekt.(the one which we were supposed to work on got scrapped thanks to one idiot who gave that idea in the first place...!!). All right,coming to the GROUP as such, 4 people who have absolutely no regard for each other and other people in general, go in search of what SUITS them rather than what they fit into.

The Thinker.
He is like supposed to be the pillar of the group (both physically and physcologicaly).The who gets in the ideas (even before we have a projekt), the MAN who leads from the front, the MAN who is gonna get into IIM-B next year, the MAN who is like the GURU.....the MAN who cant decide upon or agree to a single bloddy thing...!!

The Talker.
He is supposed to be like the FOUNDATION of the group(owing to his immense mass and a pot belly which gives a complex to all unclejis in India).Thanks to him, we go out on the pretext of searching for a projekt and return home eating masala dosas and kachori's.He talks the talk,walks the walk and hogs the hog (it doesn't rhyme,but still...).And he is like the 2nd brainest guy after the thinker in the group.

The Smoker.
He is like the un-official mascot for Goldflake Kings. He is supposed to be a little less dumber than me in academics.Given a chance he will sell a spice SIM card even to our project guide at a discounted rate even though he dosen't have a cell phone.He swings both ways (that is towards the talker and thinker) when it comes to agreeing on something.And he has like flunked the same number of subjects as i have.

The FUC***
He is like the most un-interested,un-involved person in the group.He gives ideas and advice to other people on their projekts even though he lacks one.His ideas are never agreed upon for god knows what reason.He has never met his projekt guide till date.He talks to everyone about the projekt except to his group mates. He is still hasn't got a job and is hopelessly jobless.He is again broke and has exactly 80rs in his purse.He still does not have a projekt, but he can blog about it at 12.30 in the night even though he knows he has to go to all women's college the next day on the pretext of some training he has no idea about.And he still doesn't get more than 10 comments by different people in his blog...!!!
P.S. No individuals,animals or things, living or dead were harmed during the search for a projekt by the 4 individuals.

2007-10-18T22:36:00.000+05:30

Logic...

Of what use is the rainbow to the sky..??
What joy does it bring to make paper boats and watch them float on rain drenched roads...??
What does one get out of watching a sun set behind the hills...??
Sometimes logic seems so illogical.They say it is a soul thing, ask those people who have lost theirs....!!!

2007-10-16T13:57:00.000+05:30

Hmm...“Someone who thinks the world is always cheating him is right. He is missing that wonderful feeling of trust in someone or something.”
-Eric Hoffer(American Writer)

2007-10-06T22:07:00.001+05:30

And...He thought he had found the "Shining path....", little did he know that it was just a mirage..

Dark clouds still hover over.........and He thinks the grass might be greener the other side...

And HE waits for the wind to blow to set sail again......to what HE thinks are calmer seas.......
(pics by me. Taken enroute to kerla and in kerla.Click on the pics for a enlarged view)

2007-09-29T18:42:00.000+05:30

Who is...??
Who was the second man on the moon..?? Who won the second prize in the lottery...?? Who is the runner-up in the world cup...?? They said that the winner takes the spoils....,but someone also said "The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else".
Who is a hero..?? Is he the person who conquers his urges,or is he the one who conquers his ambitions...??Every hero has a tragedy behind him....every great deed has a crime behind it...But still....we need heros.....After all,we all have an ace up our sleeves,don't we..??

2007-09-24T23:02:00.000+05:30

And he walks again....

The man with no name walks into the sunset again
no trails left behind...only the dust to tell his story...
The wind caresses him one last time.....
and he walks again...

2007-09-16T22:02:00.000+05:30

Some of the kid things I missed out on.....!!!!!
When I was quite young,I thought mohammad azharruddin was the greatest man alive(and i still believe he is.)The only problem was,azhar did not drink boost...!!! nor horlicks nor complan and neither did I..!!!!(ok,I drank milo because it gave the most number of freebees...!!) How i wish i could attribute all my batting prowess to a 200ml of brown slimy,stinking liquid held in a red cup...!! How I wish everytime i unzipped my pants,I could shout out to the whole world "I am a complan boy..".The increase in the decible level would be directly proportional to the increase in my manliness...!!! [:P].How I wish I grew taller,stronger and sharper(ahem...!!) and go upang-gapang-chapang (remember that shit..!??) and jump around like a kangaroo in heat with a white moushtache of horlicks(ewwww....!!).I always wished I could check- mate my opponent and say "G mane,genius" holding up a parle-g biscuit.For me,the biscuit remained the same,but the annotation for G changed to "G mane,gan**".We never used "priya gold sunflower oil" at home,or else even my class teacher would have come home to discover what my health secret was......!!!.Writing this,I realise how poor I was growing up.If i was not a boy,i would have nothing to play with.....!!!!!!! (ok..the last sentence is copied from somewhere)

2007-09-08T16:22:00.000+05:30

CATCHER
I am about to finish the 25th chapter in this book,The catcher in the rye,which is all about this phoney people and all.The book is so goddamn funny that i laugh like a bastard while reading every chapter of it and all.I got this book after asking around for it like for some 10 years.When people say "I will get it for you as soon as I get my hands on it" that kills me....yeah it really kills me.Writing this makes feel depressed and all.You know,i feel sort of depressed when i am about to come to the ending of any book(especially if it is a pirated book.I am like this anti-piracy "and give the author his due" and all sometimes..).Its not because i don't want to the book to end and all,but,its like very depressing to give one his/her book back after enjoying the book.Its not that I don't want to give the book back and all,but,its sort of depressing to give someone a very good book which is not yours.I know i sound very corny writing this and all as its not what I write.I am not telling what I write is very moronic and all but its just that i don't write like the way I am writing this.And if some phoney says that i write well,well that kills me...it really does.....!!!
P.S.The readers (if any),this is the way catcher is written and if one has read the book,then he/she/he-she will understand what I mean to convey.The words like corny,phoney,bastard etc are taken form this book.

2007-09-04T14:28:00.001+05:30

Oho hange...
Reality is the name we give to our disappointments.

2007-08-30T16:30:00.000+05:30

ANNIE'S SONG (John Denver)

You fill up me senses like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses come fill me again.

Come let me love you, let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you
Come let me love you, come love me again.

...Let me give my life to you
Come let me love you, come love me again.

You fill up my senses like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses, come fill me again.

2007-08-28T22:15:00.001+05:30

Slipping Through Your Fingers(trickbaby)

Hurrying to catch my comet
No destination shown - I wanna get on it
Taking a day trip from this tragic kingdom
Give myself a small safe taste of freedom

To live forever is my new fascination
Coming back’s my inspiration

A two-way choice. A cynic or believer
Make the wrong decision watch life slipping through your fingers

Worrying about my reputation
How I’m gonna get out this situation
Faith in control of my destiny
Nobody’s gonna get the better of me

2007-08-26T11:21:00.000+05:30

Heyy Baby.........
The tag line goes "All men are not DOGS"... who cares?? I am still a 16 year old kid......!!!
Sajid Khans directorial has made me realize a few very important things...
*Australia is all about sexy thighs,gravity defining clevages,2 piece bikinis and horny men.
*Australian women like to sleep with men who wear teddy bear costumes (ok,where do u get them..!?)
*23 pairs of silky starlet legs and perfect neck lines in a Australian bar is the best way to shoot a music video for a movie..!!
*Dangerous liaisons happen only at posh,high fundoo punjabi weddings.
*3 men in heat can be responsible fathers after being made to do all the baby chores.
*I still have not overcome my adolescent fantasy of long legged,long haired,waxed and blue eyed blonds.
*Vidya balan looks good only in a saree and katrina kaif(sigh sigh sigh...)would have done a better role than her.
*Some kids are soooooooooooooooooo cute that they make even chauvinist pigs like me go mellow mellow and want to hug them.
*Some 100 men can go hysterical at 12 in the morning after seeing sharukh "CHAK-de" khan for 2mins on the big screen.
*AND NOT TO PURCHASE TICKETS FOR YOUR CLASSMATES WHO DO NOT PAY THE MONEY BACK...(ASSHOLES......!!!)P.s.those assholes dont even read this blog...!!!

2007-08-21T18:47:00.000+05:30

?????????????????
Yet another day and yours truely is sitting as usual in front of the PC staring at the smudged finger prints on the 15" monitor.He has been asked to stop using GRE/CAT words in his so called blog.He obliges as dictionary.com is down for the day,and so is thesarus.com.
*He has suddenly developed a fetish for the flimsy and kinky pictures on the cover pages of james hadley chase and nick carter books.
*He thinks smileys on yahoo messenger are the next best thing invented after the internet and internet piracy.
*He thinks all spectacled girls are brainless.
*He thinks parachute advanced hair oil makes hair of all girls silky and smooth.
*He still thinks 2 of his classmates are gay.
*He thinks Azhar is the greatest batsman till today to play for india and rahul dravid is a schmuck.
*He continues to watch saregamapa and indian idol knowing very well that his favorite contestant will not win.
*He still hates shekhar on saregamapa.
*He is desperately broke again.
*He is still jobless........
*He is still thinking for a title for this post......!!!!

2007-08-16T22:05:00.000+05:30

COACH-ed
Eons seemed to have passed since the last time I traveled to bangalore by train (thanks to the uber-costly and on time buses...!!).Off late,there seems to be a feeling of "EXPRESSED" disdain between me and the humble rattler.Be it the express or the shuttle,each train to banglore had its own cacophony of drills which made the journey more smitten from time time.
Be it the regular government employees or the blind lottery ticket seller,each had its own romance.Who can forget the alluring smell of the "MADDUR VADE" or the mad rush to get the hottest "MASALA DOSE" at the maddur railway station...?? or the ever-smiling face of the "kadale kai" vendor and his soiled yellow shirt...?? The mad hanky throwing by all the uncles to catch the window seat farthest from the toilet.... the beckoning smell of the pantry....my adolescent fantasy of a beautiful damsel sitting next to me in the train....the hatred towards the people who stood smoking near the foot-boards....the casual talk with the co passengers which in-evitabily turned towards circket....and the awkward smell of the train which seemed to stick to my clothing but which sure was "oh so indian" to me..... Typing this,I vow to take a train to bangalore the next time I go there,but alas...I will surely be TOO BUSY and will take the rickety bus to be Bangalored........!!

2007-08-13T23:14:00.000+05:30

Road Trip....

"It is not down in any map; true places never are"

Had been on a small road trip to a place near the back waters of the Krishnaraja Sagar Dam (KRS) . Here are some snaps I took.
Here is where the venugopalswami temple was relocated from the dam which was submerged when the dam was built.The magnificent 12th century Venugopalaswamy temple, relocated on the backwaters of Hosakannabadi village is a treat to the eyes. Here are some pics of the old temple which was submerged and the same temple which has been relocated now.This relocation was possible thanks to an enterprising businessman.....!!!

The relocated and renovated Temple VS The Submerged temple

Here are some of the other snaps I clicked............!!!

2007-08-06T23:11:00.000+05:30

He said.......

He said he was an optimist who saw a rainbow in every sky.... but he realised being colour blind was more colourfull......
He said “I'm a pessimist because of intelligence, but an optimist because of will” he was a hedonist by being human...

"I failed to match my dreams of perfection. So I rate myself on the basis of my splendid failure to do the impossible." (William Faulkner)

2007-08-03T12:36:00.000+05:30

Pet-ER MOORE-s....
Peter Moores, England's coach, believes that stump microphones should be turned down during Tests so players can sledge each other without the audience hearing.
Ok Mr.Moores, agreed that the ENGLISH (ahem...) want more out of cricket and cricketing as compared to the usual fish and chips,the Ascot dresses,those 100 euro hats and the "oh my MOMA could Bat better than him..."s. So, to spice up your diction and the diction of your boys...here is a list of incessent chatter your players can indulge during the course of the next test match.

1. Micheal Vaughn to Zaheer...
"My daughter is older than isha sharvani......."

2.Matt prior to dinesh karthik (while karthik is batting)
"DHONI DHONI DHONI DHONI DHONI DHONI...."

3.Ian Bell to Sachin
"your bell or mine...!??"

4.Monty to dhoni..
" do u condition your facial and BODILY (read crotch) hair too..!??"

5.Peterson to Sreesanth..
"How is Andre Nel nowadays...!??"

6.Cook to Ganguly..
" People say I am charming.. I used to charm snakes for a living before..."

7. Tremlet to Jaffer (after getting jaffer out one more time )
"Is it your batting or my height that is making the difference...!?? "

8. Collingwood to Laxman..
"are you really going bald or is it because of the selectors PICKING (at) you...??"

9. Sidebottom to R.P.Singh
" FUCK YOU..." (and singh would have thought that it was an appeal...!!)

10. Finally..Mr.MOORES himself to our very YOUNG and energetic team manager ( I forgot his name btw....!!)
" Is it the english summer or do u really suffer from anorexia..!?? "

I am sooooooo jobless that i have started blogging on people whose names i cant comprehend or pronounce or spell....!! (and also i was not allowed to write yet another company on campus.... :P)

2007-07-29T16:46:00.000+05:30

SAREGAMAPA challenge 2007....sangeet ka pratham vishwa yudh....!!!
The show which has given innumerable voices to the film industry before has this time come with something called the WORLD CUP OF SANGEET.....(our fantasy of the worldcup has surpassed cricket and is right now into music thanks to our well sponsered cricketers..!!)
Agreed that the singers are damn good and are from different parts of the globe.Agreed that listening to some of them we are taken to a completely different world all together.Accepted that the girls in the show are CHIC to say the least,and Mussarat Abbas,Raja Hassan and Amanat Ali are my favorites. BUT.....BUT......what about our esteemed GURUS......the EGOISTICAL SKEPTICAL CYNICAL MISOGYNISTIC JUDGES...!??(synonyms for egoist was got from thesaurus.com :P)

Judge 1. ISAMIL DARBAR ji

Hmm......did you find the connection between these two pictures..?? Yes it is true....!! Droopy the dog and Mr.Darbar were long lost brothers of foster fathers ho were lost in the kumbh mela 20 years ago and were reunited when they saw each other in the Gynecology Section of K.R.Hospital when both had been there to be tested for a problem with their respective Prostrates.....!!!

Judge 2. Himesh Bhaaaaaaaai.....

"Where there is faith....there is no fear...." Ever Missed the CONSTIPATED LOOK of Himesh Bhaaaaaaaaai...!?? There is an ample show of waxed chest, The CONSTIPATED LOOK and his male clevage in this show....and also his OUTBURSTS in chaste english against the other GURUS....

Judge 3. BAPPI DA

Would you like to see a oversized Bean bag decorated with all of Gulf's gold.....!?? Here it is.....the ever YELLOW Bappi Lahari.......!! He forms the missing DA in saregamapa.........!!!

Judge 4. Vishal and Shekhar

The most CIVILIZED of the lot, this pair is value for money. BUT...Vishal is partially deaf and can hear only through his right ear...(see the pic....observe the headphone...!!) and is a big loafer who knows the art of whistling....
The Mr.CUTE (sigh...sigh....sigh...and another sigh...) of the lot...Shekhar is now the crush of a million desperate...foolish immature college going girls.

Last but not the least...how can we forget MR.ADITYA NARYAN himself.....THE HOST..!!!??

The THE HUNK...(read SKUNK) of the show....With his idiotic and over the size sunglasses...to the 2 stands of hair he has painted on his chin...this GUY has managed to get kissed by a girl on the show...(sigh...sigh....sigh...sigh...and another sigh..!!) and is considered the next STAR according to HIMESH BHAAIIIII....
Finally...I am soooooo jobless that I have started to blog about Tv shows too...!!

2007-07-25T11:38:00.000+05:30

10 things a man/would be man realises after remaining unshaven for 4 months......

# He suddenly feels important as everyone tells him to have a shave....

# Everyone stares at him for a minute longer than they should which makes him wonder whether he is unzipped or not...

# His people think that some girl has ditched him...

# A girl from another country comes forward to sponsor him for his shave after looking at his pic on orkut...!!(the girl knows who she is...!!)

#His 5 year old cousin thinks that he is older than her father...

#If he wears a cap,people brand him as HIMESH RESHAMIYA and ask wether even he has his chest waxed as Himesh and whether he will show his MALE CLEVAGE in future...!!!

#He is asked whether he is related to KAFEEL AHAMED after the Glasgow bombings...

#The invigilator in a exam hall looks at the picture in the hall ticket and him 3 times before putting his signature on the exam booklet......

# The topic of conversation on the dining table invariably turns to his beard everytime he sits down to eat...

#He is thinking of starting a community on orkut which goes as "A community against atrocities against bearded men and a fight against branding them as DEVDAS......!!"

2007-07-23T21:10:00.000+05:30

................................................
"i missed you"
There was a pause.Then Tariq turned to her with a half grinning,half grimacing look of distaste,"what is the matter with you?"
How many times had she,Hasina and Giti said those same three words to each other,Laila wondered,said it without hesitation,after only two or three days of not seeing each other? "I missed you,Hasina.Oh,I missed you too."In Tariq's grimace,Laila learned that boys differ from girls in this regard.They didn't make a show of friendship.They felt no urge,no need,for this sort of talk.Laila imagined it had been this way for her brothers too.Boys,Laila came to see,treated friendship the way they treated the sun:its existence undisputed;its radiance best enjoyed,not beheld directly.
"i was trying to annoy you," she said.
he gave her a sidelong glance."It worked".
But she thought his grimace softened.And she thought that maybe the sunburn on his cheeks deepened momentarily.
(This is an excerpt from the book " A 1000 Splendid Suns". Hope the READERS read it..!!)

2007-07-14T23:53:00.000+05:30

Hmm............

Some of the most beautiful things in this world...are often lost in translation...
GHAZAL is described in Arabic as "a conversation with a woman...".....It took me a long time to understand what a ghazal was.....because it took me a long time to know who the woman was.....!!!

2007-07-05T13:18:00.000+05:30

BAN THIS.....!!!

For people who don't know what noodles is, read this.
Agreed that instant NOODLES is the greatest invention of the century for many people living alone all over the world. Agreed that even though you might hate it....absolutely loathe the sickening smell of it..or its greasy mass.....every Indian born after 1980 will have had it to fill his or her belly once or twice.For most Indians MAGGI is the only form of noodles we know and consume(much to the distaste of adults..!!) BUT....NESTLE SHOULD NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF EMPTY TEENAGE/MID 20's BELLYS.........!!!
Their latest offering....MAGGI DAL ATTA NOODLES.........(Y-U-C-K). Circumcise the person who had the idea of mixing SAMBAR(as in idly-sambar) with noodles.....!!!The inventor of this DISH must have been sodomized in his childhood in a flour mill in remote south china which must have been producing sambar powder.....!!He has taken all his wrath on poor souls like me.....!!! The thought of noodles smelling of sambar is soooooooooooo disgusting that it makes you puke and drink it down...!! It tastes like VATSHAMIGE(a sort of desi noodles) mixed with century old sambar powder topped with foul smelling rotten dal....!!! It looks like a century old dinosaur dropping which has been garnished with a few lentils......P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C....!! Nestle's idea of CHINO-CHENNIAO cuisine is blatantly disastrous and un-digestable.Readers(if any) please dont waste your money on this blasphemy.....!!!

2007-06-18T17:55:00.000+05:30

The Chronicles of a 21year Old Car Learner....
What does a jobless/hopeless un-shaven un-haircutted (save the lingo...!!) 21 year old guy do on a fine sunny sunday morning.......!?? He is dragged away to learn how to drive a car........!!
It is supposedly supposed to be Un-manly and GAY not knowing how to drive a car being 21....!! Kids today know how to deive a 4 wheeler....so why should a MAN OF THE HOUSE not learn....!!??
So thus began EXPERIMENTS WITH TRUTH between me and Mr.Henry Fords creation...

Day 1,Scene1:The first TRUTH....
My father explains the difference between an accelerator and a clutch and how to release them simultaneously....For god's sake.... I have been driving a 2 wheeler for the past 7-8 years and know the damn difference between a clutch and an accelerator...!!! As I have taken a vow of not arguing with others,I keep mum and listen to all the "INSTRUCTIONS".Ok, now the car has started and I slowly move forward trying to control the steering in a MANLY way, all is fine upto the next curve.

Day 1,Scene2:The REALISATION....
A very neat curve lies ahead which I have passed a ZILLION times on my motorbike.Sitting behind the sinsiter looking steering wheel,I realise that Mr.Henry Ford made a grave mistake in his creation of the century....and that is he did not provide a mirror in which the driver can see all the 4 tyres....!!! For all the EDUCATION I have got in my 3 years of engineering and my so called expertise in driving two-wheelers,I suddenly forget the difference between a clutch and an accelerator.... The car suddenly moves and stops just in front of a ditch.....(the conversation and after this is for the readers(if any..!!) to comprehend...!!)

Day 2,Scene 3:The MOTHER of all problems.....
The night is fresh,the grass is green and what does the 21 year old guy do...?? Ask for a 2nd lesson in driving with his mother sitting in the rear seat...!! Everything starts of well,the TAKE OFF is neat..so is the first turn.Slowly we enter the main road,all is well..suddenly the whole of the rear portion of the car starts to VIBRATE to say the least...mother india is jumping in the seat and asking me to hand back the car to her man in shining armor for the moment....My MALE EGO and TESTOSTRONE refuse the offer and I continue my drive into the city.I hear a cry of relief/terror/excitement from the rear end every time another vehicle passes by.... and I remember those days....when I used to honk loudly on my motorbike everytime i used to pass a woman driver who was trying to learn the car...!!! The woman learner is always caught in between controlling the car...cursing/staring at me in the typical "oh u male chavunistic PIG" way...!! On top of this she is not able to get over with the schrezophenic notion of the male teacher staring at her assets.......!!! In my fantasy of trying to crush the FUNDAMENTAL FEMINIST TERRORISM on the road....I forget that there is something called a brake near my leg..........!!!!!!
(P.S. No one was hurt or opressed in my escapades....!! More EXPERIENCES will be added in my course of trying to unravel the mysteries of Mr.Fords creation...!!)